


Special Relationships

by Admiral6



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Politics, British Politics, F/F, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, President Regina, Prime Minister Zelena, no magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Admiral6/pseuds/Admiral6
Summary: Regina and Zelena, sisters separated by an ocean and circumstance, have just become the most powerful leaders in the Free World. They will try to stay close to each other - and maybe find love - while navigating their way through the treacherous realms of international politics and national security.





	1. Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> To quote the great Thomas Magnum: "I know what you're thinking, and you're right. 'Seriously?? He's starting another multichapter fic when he's already crap at updating the other ones???"
> 
> Yes, well...a while ago I decided I needed to post my own "President Regina" story as a matter of catharsis, so I'm finally getting around to it. And then I decided to make Zelena Prime Minister because I don't think anybody's done that one yet. (If I'm wrong, let me know what I'm missing.)

**JANUARY 20TH**

**1105 AM, UTC**

**London, England, UK**

  
  
  
  


It was a short trip from the Palace of Westminster to Buckingham Palace, just a handful of minutes by car. This particular trip was an uneventful one, at least outwardly, but as she sat in the back of a government Jaguar sedan, Zelena West’s mind was a hive of activity.

 

This trip was the culmination of almost two years of planning, persuading and a fair amount of arm-twisting, everything needed to create a coalition, engineer a vote of “No Confidence” in and  subsequently ouster the Conservative government, and organize a national campaign that ended with her coalition holding a majority in Parliament after the Special Election.

 

It had been her idea and had come about mostly by her effort, and today she was about to reap the ultimate reward for all her work. It was both exhilarating and frightening. She was about to be appointed to the highest office in the land, and a tiny voice in the back of her mind kept asking, “Okay...now what?” Of course she had an agenda, and the first legislative steps necessary to transform that agenda into national policy had already been taken, but this step was the ultimate for her. It would be the step that made her completely responsible for implementing that policy, and for its success or failure.

 

Thoughts like that forced her to remember the first step she took to getting here, and the old adage “Could’ve happened to anybody.”

 

Still, it was a short trip, so there wasn’t enough time for too much introspection. Before she knew it the sedan was pulling into the gate and alongside the ornate main entrance. The moment the car was still a footman walked down the stairs and opened her door and helped her out. He then led her up the stairs to the entrance, where she was greeted by two more men: a butler who took her overcoat, scarf and gloves, and Her Majesty’s Private Secretary, who led her through the halls and levels of the old royal residence, all the while reminding her of the formalities she would be required to observe during the coming meeting.

 

Finally the pair reached a large set of double doors. The Secretary knocked on the door on the left and opened it without waiting for an answer. In the next moment they were standing in the Royal Presence. The Secretary bowed, Zelena curtsied, and the Secretary announced, “Ms. Zelena West, Ma’am,” before retreating backward out the door and closing it behind him.

 

And suddenly Zelena was standing in an elaborately decorated sitting room with Her Majesty, By The Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, and Defender of the Faith.

 

And somewhere in the back of her mind, that little voice spoke again:  _ Oh dear… _ After all, there she was, standing not twenty feet away, wearing a pretty but simple dress, comfortable shoes and a friendly smile, and though Zelena felt she had prepared for this moment all her life, it wasn’t until the moment arrived that she realized  _ nobody _ was ever prepared for their very first audience with the Queen of England.

 

She managed to tamp down the terror after a few seconds and walked as gracefully as she could manage across the room to stand face to face with the Queen. Then she gently shook hands with the monarch as she curtsied again. “Thank you for seeing me, Your Majesty,” she said. She hoped the slight tremor in her voice wasn’t  _ too _ noticeable.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. West. Do sit down.” There were two antique but comfortable chairs nearby, facing each other. The Queen sat in one while Zelena sat in the one opposite. “Would you like something?” Her Majesty asked when they were settled.

 

“No thank you, Ma’am,” Zelena said. “I’m fine.”

 

The Queen nodded, then without missing a beat, said, “By the way, you have a very good curtsy. Most curtsies are performed with a certain degree of clumsiness, but yours is quite graceful.” With that, the friendly smile she had been wearing before evolved into a mischievous one.

 

It made Zelena chuckle softly. “Thank you, ma’am,” She said. “I confess I practiced a great deal before coming today.”

 

“You should be proud of the results of your hard work. Now then...I usually like to begin these meetings by telling you your number in the series of my Prime Ministers, but I’m afraid at this point I’ve rather lost count.” The Queen laughed lightly at this, as the mischievous smile turned into a grin.

 

It was infectious. Zelena laughed as well as she said, “Easily done, Ma’am.  _ Quite  _ easily done.”

 

As the laughter subsided, Zelena realized that the Queen was putting her at ease. _ Did I really look as nervous as I felt? _ Well, she certainly didn’t feel as nervous as when she first walked in, so whatever the Queen was doing, it served to calm Zelena down.

 

“Well then,” the Queen said, “one thing we must do is arrange our regular meeting. Shall we meet on this same day each week?”

 

“That would be fine,” Zelena said. “What time would you prefer?”

 

“Oh, later in the day, I think...shall we say four? We can discuss affairs of state over tea.”

 

Zelena nodded. “Four, then. I look forward to it.”

 

“Good. Oh...is it true that Ms. Mills in America is your sister?”

 

Zelena smiled. “ _ Half _ -sister, yes, ma’am.”

 

“Ah. Well, I’m sure we’ll send the usual official messages, but I would like you to convey my personal congratulations. She will achieve an important milestone in her country today and I want her to know that at least one Head of State has her back.”

 

Zelena grinned again. “I’ll be sure to tell her that, ma’am. I expect she’ll be overjoyed to hear.”

 

“Excellent. Shall we conclude our business here?”

 

Zelena nodded and both women stood, Zelena more rapidly, of course. Though Her Majesty was lively for her age, living for almost a century was bound to take a toll. Still, the Queen stood as straight as she could and as tall as she could, and she looked Zelena straight in the eye as she said, “Zelena West, you have demonstrated an ability to create a majority in Parliament. I invite you to form a government in my name.”

 

Zelena took the Queen’s right hand in hers. “I accept, Your Majesty,” she said, and then she lightly kissed the back of the hand she was holding.

 

Her Majesty nodded approvingly. “There...now that’s done, I must be off. My secretary will show you out.” With that, she turned and exited the room through a back door. The move saved Zelena from having to exit backwards. She turned and headed for the double doors, where the Secretary opened the door for her when she was mere steps away. How did he see her coming through the polished oak? She decided there were some mysteries she didn’t need to solve. Instead, she simply let the man lead her back down to the entrance, where she retrieved her things before returning to the sedan.

 

The ride from the Palace to Number 10 Downing Street would be even shorter, but with this visit out of the way the lack of anxiety allowed her to focus her thoughts and she spent the drive time going over her initial speech. She wouldn’t have enough time to go over the whole speech, so she went over the salient points and thought about how she’d highlight them.

 

There was a crowd of reporters waiting for her as the sedan pulled into the entrance to the Prime Minister’s residence. The car pulled over a little ways up the road, leaving the famous door emblazoned with the number “10” in full view of the press’s cameras. It would serve as Zelena’s backdrop as she delivered the first speech of her tenure. There was a podium already set up for her, so Zelena went directly over to it as soon as she exited the car. There she stood tall, smiled at the gathering and began with the traditional statement:

 

“I have just come from Buckingham Palace. Her Majesty has asked me to form a government, and I have accepted.”

 

The remarks that followed were all hers, and while not traditional they were expected. She thanked and congratulated her constituents and those of the coalition, talked about unity and healing, and reiterated the promises made during the campaign as well as laid out the basics of the policies being put in place to fulfill them. The speech only took about twenty minutes, a blessedly short time considering the icy temperature in the city on this winter day.

 

Zelena didn’t take any questions afterward. The press dispersed and she headed into 10 Downing. This time she was met at the door by her personal assistant, Alice Jones, and her Chief of Staff, Robin Locksley.

 

“That’s tellin’ ‘em, Miss,” Alice said as she took Zelena’s things. “‘Hit the ground runnin’, damn the torpedoes,’ all that…”

 

Zelena chuckled at Alice’s description. “Thank you, Alice. I might have to add you to the review list for all my speeches.”

 

“Seriously?” Robin said. “There’s about fifty people on that list now.”

 

Alice shrugged. “In that case, one more couldn’t muck things up too much…”

 

“Agreed!” Zelena said, settling the argument with a grin. She continued walking toward her new office with Robin and Alice at her side.

 

“So, how’s the old bird?” Robin asked.

 

“Oy! Have a care!” Alice said. “That’s the Queen you’re talkin’ about!”

 

“Forgive me,” Robin said with a nod. “How is HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY, the Old Bird?”

 

Zelena smiled and shook her head. “She’s fine. She’s lucid, she’s mobile and she’s more than capable of rapping our knuckles if we get too out of hand, so try to keep your anti-royal tendencies in check until the Tories are back in power.”

 

“Duly noted,” Robin said. “In the meantime, shall we get started on her Opening Day speech?”

 

“Absolutely. We’re going to start meeting regularly next week and I want the first draft ready for her review by then.”

 

“All right. I’ll get Lance and Merry on it as soon as you’re settled in.” He was referring to Lance Lott and Merida Archer, Zelena’s Communications Director and Press Secretary, respectively.

 

“Speakin’ of settlin’, Miss,” Alice said, “I’ll take these things up to your flat and get started on your lunch.” She departed with a bright smile and headed for the stairs.

 

“Thank you, Alice,” Zelena said to her back, slightly floored that the girl would refer to the Prime Minister’s apartment as a “flat.”

 

Robin got back to business. “Will should be in soon with a candidates list,” he said. Will Scarlet would serve as Zelena’s Parliamentary Private Secretary. The list he was working on was filled with the names of Members of Parliament that would be good candidates for filling jobs in Zelena’s Cabinet.

 

“We should reserve Deputy PM posts for the other coalition leaders,” Zelena thought aloud.

 

“Goes without saying.” Robin said.

 

Just as they reached the door to Zelena’s office they heard a soft-spoken “Shit!” sound through. It stopped them in their tracks for a second, then they went in. They found a slender woman crouched on the floor by the antique desk, muttering to herself as she picked up a stack of files she’d dropped. Her back was turned to the Prime Minister and the Chief of Staff.

 

The sight had rendered Zelena speechless for a moment. She tried to tell herself it had nothing to do with the way the knee-length skirt the woman was wearing showed off her backside in that position.

 

Robin got the other woman’s attention by clearing his throat. She looked up from her task and blanched when she saw who was standing there. She rushed to gather up the last files and stood quickly, then smiled an embarrassed smile as she tried to smooth out her clothes one-handed, the other laden with paperwork. “Sorry! Didn’t know you were there!” She said. Then her face fell. “Um...exactly how long have you been there?”

 

Zelena grinned and twisted the knife a little. “I believe shit was mentioned when we arrived.”

 

The woman went from blanched to beet red as she tried to avoid Zelena’s gaze. “Oh, sorry...it’s just... I had everything in order when I came in, then my shoe snagged on the carpet and everything went flying. Rather clumsy of me…”

 

Zelena mock gasped. “Don’t tell me you were trying to curtsy! I’ve just been told that most curtsies are horrendously clumsy!”

 

The look of confusion on the woman’s face was hilarious. It made Zelena laugh out loud while Robin handled the introductions. “Prime Minister, I’d like you to meet Ms. Belle French, your Principal Private Secretary.”

 

Zelena got control of herself enough to greet Belle with a handshake and a smile. “How do you do, Ms. French? Welcome aboard.”

 

Belle took a relaxing breath and smiled back. “Thank you, Prime Minister,” she said. “I’m really sorry that you had to find me this way.”

 

“Well, as long as I managed to find you some way, I’m happy.” Zelena said. Hearing it kept Belle smiling, exactly what Zelena wanted. Belle had a wide, beautiful smile she could get lost in.

 

And she did, apparently, because Robin cleared his throat again. “Prime Minister,” he said, “we should start going through those.” He indicated the files Belle was carrying.

 

Zelena shook her head to clear it. “Yes, of course.” She let go of Belle’s hand. “Why don’t you leave those on my desk? We can sort through them ourselves.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Belle left the files on the desk, nodded to Zelena and Robin in turn and left.

 

Zelena watched her walk out, and kept watching till she was no longer in sight. Only then did she turn to find Robin looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

 

Robin shrugged. “Not a thing.” Then he grinned.

 

Zelena huffed and pointed at him. “Not a word.” This got him laughing. She just huffed again and went around the desk to the comfortable chair behind it. She took off her suit jacket and draped it around the back of the chair.

 

“Let’s get started…” she said.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Elsewhere in the city, Arthur King was in a foul mood.

 

He tried not to let it show on his face. It wouldn’t do for a man in his position to show emotion, especially not in his current company, but he was angry. He was sitting in a comfortable chair with a glass of fine scotch in his hand and watching coverage of the start of Zelena West’s Government on the BBC.

 

He hadn’t touched the drink, though he dearly wanted to. Actually, what he wanted to do was fill it to the brim, slug it down, then repeat and repeat until more bottles were required. Again, this was not something he could do in his present company.

 

Sitting in this gloomy locale with him were the Former Prime Minister and Party Leader, the interim Party Leader and the Party Chair. Arthur was the Party Whip, and together all four had just witnessed the new Prime Minister deliver her first speech. She didn’t fumble at all, much to their collective annoyance.

 

The situation reminded Arthur of an observation an American colleague had once shared with him: “Being the Whip of the opposition party in Parliament must feel like being an assistant coach on the team playing the Harlem Globetrotters.” Arthur had had to look up the Harlem Globetrotters, and though he understood the reference intellectually, at the time his was the party in power.

 

Now it was the opposition party. Now he _ got it. _

 

The Former PM sighed and took a sip of her drink. “Very well,” she said. “We should be discussing options. Obviously we can’t count on Ms. West to fumble on her own. How do we trip her and her precious coalition up?”

 

“Their majority is small, but solid,” said the Party Chair as he twirled his drink, “and you can be sure their people will move heaven and earth to keep their M-Ps in line.”

 

“Frankly,” the interim Leader said, “I’m surprised they got as far as they did. Zelena West is still relatively new in Parliament. She simply hasn’t got the experience necessary to engineer a take-over like this...or so it had seemed…”

 

“The press agreed with you,” the Party Chair sighed, “and now they’re scrambling to make it seem like they knew she’d triumph all along.”

 

“Trying to curry favor,” the Former PM reasoned. “The newspapers are still run by doddering old men who are easily swayed by a pretty face, and Ms. West is quite attractive.”

 

“Too bad we can’t fight fire with fire,” Arthur mumbled.

 

“How, exactly?” the Party Chair said.

 

Arthur hadn’t realized he’d been heard. Now he saw that he’d gotten everyone’s attention, so he cleared his throat and finished the errant thought. “Well, as has been observed, Ms. West is quite attractive and glamorous, and while those can’t be the only reasons she’s achieved a majority I’m certain they were a contributing factor.” He shrugged. “I was just thinking it would be nice if we could do the same thing. Pick a young, attractive, smart M-P, get her into the leadership position and have her rally our party and our constituents the same way. They have their Joan of Arc, so we match our own against her.”

 

There. He’d said it, and now he finished his drink in one gulp and waited for the rebuke. Obviously, the idea was too sexist, too patronizing and cynical to be considered. The only matter now was whether they’d shout him down for even thinking such a thing in this modern enlightened age or politely dismiss the thought and ignore him while they came up with better plans. He would accept either outcome, because that absolved him of the responsibility of helping to get the party out of this fix.

 

What he didn’t expect at all was to hear someone say: “Who did you have in mind?”

 

More surprising, this came from the Former PM, an intelligent, capable politician in her own right who’d fought her way tooth and nail up the party ranks, and there was no hint of pique or impatience in her voice as she said it. She genuinely seemed interested in knowing what beauty queen they could stand up against the new Prime Minister, and for a moment he was at a loss to understand why.

 

Then it hit him. She was just as angry as he was at the situation. Possibly angrier. After all, the “No Confidence” vote that started all this had been aimed squarely at her.

 

This realization allowed him to square his shoulders and give the others a name. They looked back and forth at each other as they contemplated the candidate, then they all seemed to come to the same decision at the same time.

 

“Give her a call, Arthur,” the Party Chair said.

 

Arthur nodded and pulled his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. He looked up the proper number and dialed it, then waited until someone answered. “Arthur King for Victoria Belfrey…”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Will Scarlet arrived a few minutes after Belle had left, and he and Robin and Zelena spent the next few hours going over the names on his list and hashing out the pros and cons of naming those candidates to various positions in the cabinet. At one point, Zelena stopped herself in the middle of explaining why she would reject a particular candidate to ask, “Wait...what time is it?”

 

Robin checked his watch and Will checked his cell phone display. “Nearly Three…” Robin said.

 

“Oh!” Zelena hunted around for the remote that went to the large flat-screen television installed in the office. She turned the TV on as soon as she found it. It was already on BBC1, which was in the middle of live news coverage.

 

“I hope we haven’t missed it…” Zelena said.

 

The scene on the screen was a live shot of the front of the US Capitol Building. A dais and speaker’s stand had been constructed along the front face of the building and decorated with American flag themed bunting and ribbon. The dais fronted a huge gallery that was already filled with onlookers. The dais was crowded as well.

 

“...and we’re expecting the President-Elect to come out soon to cap off today’s ceremony,” the news reader was saying, “after which we’ll cover the rest of the day’s events…”

 

“Good,” Zelena said with a smile as she settled in to watch.

  
  



	2. Oath

**JANUARY 20TH**

**10:56 AM EST**

**Washington, D.C., USA**

  
  
  
  


Regina Mills couldn’t help but pace. There was little else for her to do while she was waiting to go out onto the podium except think about the enormity of what she was about enter into. With the reciting of one paragraph - a run-on sentence really - hundreds of people at the Capitol Building and millions of people around the world would watch as she became the First Woman President of the United States, the First Latina President of the United States, the First Openly Gay President of the United States, and only the Third President of the United States to be unmarried when entering office. (The second had been Calvin Coolidge. He married while in office. If Regina remained unmarried for her entire term, she’d be the first since James Buchanan.)

 

This list of milestones played heavily in her mind, because they all had in one way or another been obstacles to overcome since she declared her intention to run two years ago. Her ethnicity had inspired both Birther and Deportation movements (which dwindled when it was carefully explained that she was of Puerto Rican descent, and Puerto Rico was US Territory.) Her gender drew out all the sexist troglodytes who thought women didn’t have the emotional or mental stability to be President (those same detractors had become more strident and unhinged as she climbed in the polls, proving there were plenty of men who were less stable than they claimed she would be.) Reaction to her sexuality came as a surprise when she found out that it drew protest from evangelicals on both sides of the aisle (demonstrating that particular brand of intolerance was not the exclusive purview of the Religious Right.) Even her single status was a problem for some voters, as conventional wisdom had it that a president needed a spouse to offset the inherent loneliness of the job. Thanks to her campaign manager and thorough opposition research, she knew this going in, so the strategy devised to combat it was simple, if not easy: deliver the message that any perceived negatives brought about by her “firsts” would not stop her from fulfilling her agenda, namely new jobs, safer and better schools, a tax code that doesn’t punish the middle class, more effective gun control and a foreign policy where the United States engaged with the world instead of trying to police it. The objective was to make traits people might find troubling irrelevant by concentrating on initiatives everyone could get behind. It wasn’t perfect, but that combined with a unique multi-state campaign resulted in Regina winning a slim majority in the popular vote, but 272 Electors in the vote that counted. It was by no means a mandate, but it was a clear victory.

 

Of course, there were always those who couldn’t accept clear results. The more organized simply demanded recounts in key states and counties, sometimes filing lawsuits to make them happen (both sides hired armies of lawyers in every election for just that purpose.) It was rare that such recount demands overturned election results, which left the less organized, more activist minded resisters to come up with battle plans. Famously, there was one conservative celebrity that had railed against Regina since her campaign started that vowed to gather up a posse of “right-thinking Americans” and together exercise their “right to protest” by disrupting the Inaugural Ceremony so much Regina couldn’t take the oath. The possibility was one that had Regina genuinely concerned, but everyone she confided her fears to, from her campaign manager to the head of her Secret Service detail, told her she shouldn’t be worried.

 

It wasn’t until she reached the Capitol that morning that she realized why no one was worried. As soon as she entered the building she was ushered into the office of the senior Senator from Maine, where she found said senator, a local circuit court judge and a bible waiting for her. It reminded her that the Inaugural Ceremony, after all, was just for show.

 

She smiled as she thought of that right wingnut and the look on his face had he managed to successfully disrupt the ceremony and later found out Regina had already been President for an hour.

 

Still, the show had to go on, just to let the rest of the planet in on the secret, and as the minutes ticked away to her appearance Regina found herself dealing with a bout of stage fright, despite having made similar speeches as Governor of Maine. Of course, the sheer number of people that would be watching was a factor, though it shouldn’t have been. She’d been steadily building a national and international following since she announced, and they’d been with her through all the campaigning right up to winning the nomination and the Presidency. One would think she’d be used to addressing large assemblages at this point.

 

Yet the anxiety wouldn’t leave, and as the final moments ticked down she looked around for someone to help her relax. Her eyes were drawn immediately to Emma Swan, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. As Chief of her Secret Service Detail, Emma Swan’s main concern was keeping her alive, not calm. In fact, that’s exactly the way Emma herself would have put it if asked, so Regina didn’t expect any help with her anxiety from that quarter. Emma was just standing nearby, not acknowledging the people milling around her, scanning their surroundings as if they were in Beirut and not the Nation’s Capital. Every now and then she would say something into the microphone in her sleeve. It was crazy. Emma had been her guardian since she first started pulling away in the primaries, and most of Regina’s memories of her were visions of her doing exactly the same things she was doing today…

 

...so it came as a very pleasant surprise when the pretty blond looked up from her wrist radio conversation, spotted her looking and gave her a little smile and wink before returning to her scanning.

 

It was also crazy that that little smile and wink caused all of her tension to melt away, as if Emma sent a message to her mind: “ _ Girl, you got this!”  _ The exchange also got her thinking that maybe the people who thought she should be married had a point. _ Maybe I should marry Emma. _

 

Regina shook her head.  _ Nope. Too crazy. I’m just an assignment to her. _

 

Her musings were interrupted by a hand placed gently on her shoulder and a soft male voice asking, “Are you ready, Mom?”

 

Regina turned to find her son Henry standing behind her, giving her a chance to marvel a little more at the fine young man he’d grown into. He’d worn a navy blue suit that matched the pantsuit Regina was wearing, was clean shaven and much taller than his mother. He’d been with her throughout the campaign, along with his wife and daughter.

 

Regina looked up at him and smiled. “I think I am ready,” she said.

 

“Okay. I’ll be right outside.” Henry turned and headed out to the dais. That meant it was time.

 

Regina took a deep, calming breath and tried to put all extraneous thoughts out of her mind, leaving nothing but the task at hand. When she thought she had a handle on her emotions, she put a smile on her face and headed through the corridor to the dais outside.

 

There were cheers and applause from all around her when she emerged, the sound of which energized her and made her smile wide. She waved to the onlookers in the gallery and shook hands and shared hugs with special people in the dais stands, including her daughter-in-law Jacinda and grandaughter Lucy. Henry was standing at the podium with the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court. Regina came to stand at the podium with them and exchanged a few pleasantries before they got into position, with Regina on the right and the Chief Justice on the left, facing each other. Henry stood between them. When they were ready, Henry held up a bible.

 

“Place your left hand on the bible and raise your right hand,” the Chief Justice said. When Regina complied, he said, “Repeat after me: ‘I, Regina Mills, do solemnly swear…’”

 

“I, Regina Mills, do solemnly swear,” Regina said, “that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States...and will to the best of my ability...preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States...so help me God.”

 

The Chief Justice extended his right hand and said, “Congratulations, Madam President.”

 

Now all the onlookers rose to a standing ovation as Regina shook hands with the Chief Justice and hugged Henry, then both men took seats in the dais stands while Regina stepped up to the podium. The applause continued for almost a minute and Regina let it wash over her and give her confidence, then silenced it with a couple of thank-yous, and when she had everyone’s attention she began one of the most important speeches she’d ever make:

 

“My Fellow Americans, today is a great day in the history of our nation. It is a turning point for our people, our culture and our standing on the world stage…”

  
  


* * *

  
  


While the office of the senior Senator from Maine currently stood empty, the office of the junior Senator from Maine was fully up and running. The Senator herself had insisted on it, so the bulk of her staff was at work on various things in the staff room beyond her office door, while in her office she and her Chief of Staff watched Regina’s Inaugural Address.

 

The Senator’s name was Sarah Fisher, and as she watched Regina speak she was quietly seething.

 

Regina Mills and Sarah Fisher had been at odds with each other for the bulk of their political lives, through Regina’s rise from State Representative to smalltown Mayor to the Governor’s Mansion, and Sarah’s from city councilwoman to State Senate to the US Senate. The rivalry had gotten so heated that when Regina announced her run for a second term as Governor Sarah had taken leave from what was then a relatively new Senate term just to win her state party’s nomination and run against her. She lost, of course, but since then had made it her business to keep making the voting public aware of what she thought were Regina’s obvious shortcomings. When Regina announced her presidential run, Sarah made sure she had access to the incumbent President’s inner campaign circle, eager to help exploit Regina’s weaknesses. This too had come to nothing. The proof of that was the sight of Regina preaching to her choir on the Capitol steps.

 

“They have no idea what they’ve just done,” her Chief of Staff said. This was a smart, energetic young woman named Elsa Snow. She was slim, blond and pretty, and had a penchant for wearing short skirts and nude stockings and a habit of sitting on Sarah’s desk. Sarah didn’t try hard to break this habit, even though the close presence of Elsa’s shapely ass and beautifully turned legs inspired sinful thoughts no proper Christian woman should have. Elsa was perched there now, eyes glued to the TV in Sarah’s office.

 

“They always know,” Sarah countered, “because the disruption she and her party bring all the time is what they want.

 

“The recount in Cook County should have gone our way,” Elsa huffed.

 

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Sarah sighed.

 

A moment later Regina reached an applause line in her speech. It inspired another standing-O. 

 

“Your sister is somewhere in that throng, isn’t she?” Sarah asked.

 

Now Elsa sighed. “Anna’s young and impressionable, just the kind of Kool-Aid drinker the liberals like to recruit.”

 

“Don’t dismiss that passion too readily. We could use some more of those impressionable youths on our side.”

 

Elsa frowned. “Well...we have two years. The Democrat majority in the House is fragile and the Senate is split down the middle. With a vigorous campaign in the mid-terms we can help turn enough seats in Congress to stop dead any initiatives President Mills hasn’t already managed to push through.”

 

“True,” Sarah said.

 

“In the meantime we work on Southern and Midwestern Dems to see how many we can get to defect on the major bills.”

 

Sarah smiled and lightly touched Elsa’s knee with her forefinger. “Good girl,” she said sweetly. “That’s just what I was thinking.”

 

Elsa grinned at the touch and the praise.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The rest of Inauguration Day unfolded as it usually did. After her speech, Regina and her family joined a host of other dignitaries in an enclosed viewing stand to watch the Inaugural Parade up Pennsylvania Avenue. Then she gave the outgoing president his final sendoff as he rode Marine One for the last time just to ride Air Force One for the last time on his way to his home state. Then she went to the Oval Office to take care of some “First Day” duties - mostly “housekeeping” paperwork - before getting ready for the series of Inaugural Balls that would occupy the rest of the night.

 

Finally, Regina’s first day in office ended with her entering the Residence in the White House achy and bleary-eyed around midnight. She went straight to the changing room that was part of the suite known as the President’s Bedroom and changed from an evening gown and heels to a nightgown and slippers, before trudging over to her bed and collapsing dramatically onto the covers.

 

She was just about to doze off when she heard the Wicked Witch’s theme from the original  _ Wizard of Oz  _ movie sounding from her purse. She groaned as she levered herself up to retrieve the secure cellphone she’d started using during the transition. The theme was a private joke, but at this time of night she didn’t find it all that funny.

 

After checking the display she answered the call. “Hello, you.”

 

“Hello,  _ you _ ,” the playful voice on the other end said.

 

“What are you doing up?” Regina asked. “Isn’t it like, what, three in the morning over there?”

 

“A little after four, darling,” Zelena said. “You’re forgetting your time zones.”

 

“Whatever. It’s still early, isn’t it?”

 

“It is, but I’m too keyed up to sleep, so I decided to check in on you.”

 

“Well, thanks, but I’ve got plenty of babysitters in this job.”

 

“I know how you feel...but at least you get to party all night on your first day…”

 

“Please! What I actually got to do was be tossed around a bunch of overblown high school proms like a rag doll. I go to one, dance for the cameras for about thirty seconds to some half-assed music, then I get packaged up in the limo just to go somewhere else and rinse and repeat. I went to eight balls tonight, and I didn’t get to actually enjoy a minute of any of them.”

 

“Still better than my day. You started your day with a bunch of standing ovations. I started mine by kissing some old lady’s hand.”

 

“Well, yeah, but you have to meet her every week, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“There you go. That means you’ve got a steady date for your whole term. That’s way more than I’ve got.” She smiled as she heard Zelena burst out laughing. “It wasn’t  _ that _ funny, Zee..”

 

“No,” Zelena said as she recovered, “what’s funny is we just became the most powerful women in the free world and we’re sitting here bitching to each other about it.”

 

“There’s definitely a disconnect there somewhere,” Regina allowed.

 

“Speaking of Her Majesty, she asked me to relay her personal well wishes and to let you know that - I quote - she has ‘Got your back.’”

 

“I’ll take all the support I can get. A bunch of people have been sharpening their pitchforks since the Republicans lost that last recount.”

 

“Persevere, Darling! You officially have four years to work your magic and win them over.”

 

“Yeah...but you get five years. How is that fair?”

 

“Older sister’s privelege.”

 

“When do I get to be the older sister?”

 

“When I’m _ dead _ .”

 

“Hmmm...nahh, too much work.”

 

“Indeed. You’ll just have to wait. By the way, who did you dance with?”

 

“Henry, naturally.”

 

“Oh, wonderful! How’s my favorite nephew?”

 

“He’s your only nephew.”

 

“Still counts.”

 

“He’s fine. He and the girls are going to fly back home tomorrow.”

 

“Seattle, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yes. Lucy has taken to calling it ‘The Other Washington.’”

 

Zelena chuckled. “Good for her! So...couldn’t convince the offspring to join you in 1600?”

 

“Henry has already made it abundantly clear that he is _ done _ with living with his mother in official government housing. I’m not surprised. He practically grew up in the Mayor’s Mansion in Storybrooke and hated every minute of it. He only visited Blaine House on college holidays. It’s all right. He’s doing well out west.”

 

“But that’s going to leave you all by your lonesome in that big museum.”

 

“Don’t remind me. I entertained the notion of getting married today.”

 

“Any prospects?”

 

Regina hesitated. “No...nobody.”

 

“You should get all those Secret Service agents around you to procure you a nice girlfriend.”

 

“The last president who used the Secret Service that way got censured by Congress.”

 

“Yes...in his _ second _ term. That gives you something to look forward to.”

 

“You are so crazy. I can’t believe they let you be in charge over there.”

 

“Let me?? Hell, that woman I’m going steady with practically  _ invited  _ me to be in charge!”

 

“Ya don’t say.”

 

“I  _ do _ say.”

 

“Well, I say I’m wiped, so we’re going to have to finish this bull session some other time.”

 

“Oh, all right, go ahead and get some sleep. Good Night, Little Sister.”

 

“Good Night, Big Sis.”

 

Zelena clicked off and Regina shut off her phone completely before laying back in bed. As she drifted off this time something about her conversation with her sister struck her.

 

_ Four years? No, Zee, that’s the ideal. At best I’ve got two, and I have to work as if that’s all I’ll get. _

 

With that thought weighing on her mind, Regina made herself go to sleep. Along with support, she’d need all the rest she could get as well.


	3. Briefing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, thanks for your patience. If you've just joined us, thanks for giving the story a chance.

“Madam President? Madam President, it’s time to get up.”

 

The soft, feminine voice roused Regina from a deep sleep she’d only managed to reach a few hours ago, the enormity of her new job making the rest of her night’s sleep fitful. She groaned as she woke, then rolled over and saw a young girl standing by the bed. Regina regarded her through half-closed eyes as the girl smiled at her. She was slim, pretty, fair-skinned and had long, flowing brunette hair.

 

And she was an utter stranger. “Who  _ are  _ you?” Regina croaked. “And how did you get in here past the heavily armed federal agent that’s supposed to be right outside?”

 

The girl giggled and said, “Well, my name is Violet Morgan, and the heavily armed federal agent didn’t stop me because I’m authorized to be in here.” She held up her White House ID badge. “See?”

 

Regina tried to look at it, but was still too tired to focus properly on the fine print of the ID, so she just decided to take the girl’s word for it. “Fine...then let’s go with ‘ _ Why  _ are you authorized to be in here?’”

 

“It’s my job. I’m your Body Woman.”

 

Hearing the phrase woke Regina up a little more. “You’re my  _ what _ ?”

 

“Your Body Woman. I guess that means ‘valet’ or something, but that was the phrase that was used when I was hired…”

 

“Yes, a body woman or man is a valet. That’s not what I meant. Who exactly hired you?”

 

“Oh! It was your Chief of Staff, Ms. Dee...dee...um…”

 

Regina huffed. “Just call her ‘Mal,’ dear. You need practice to wrap your tongue around that last name. And I could swear I told my Chief of Staff that I didn’t need a Body Woman.”

 

Violet smiled. “She said you’d say that.”

 

“Prescient of her. Did she also tell you how to respond?”

 

“Um, yeah...she said you should treat me like a condom.”

 

Regina raised an eyebrow. “A condom?”

 

The girl blushed a little. “Yeah. She said it’s better to have one and not need it…”

 

Regina sighed and finished the saying. “...than need it and not have one.” She’d heard that and other pearls of conventional wisdom from Mal before. Sometimes they made her head hurt. Now, though, it frustrated her just enough to fully wake her up, so she sat up on the edge of the bed and looked up at Violet. “Okay fine, but why are you here…” - She checked the clock on her phone and winced. - “...at this ridiculous hour?”

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Violet said with a shrug. “I was just told to get here early enough to wake you at this time.”

 

Regina closed her eyes and spent a moment contemplating her lot in life.  _ Why the hell did I do this again? Oh yeah...because somebody needed to fix what the last guy broke and I thought it should be me. Way to go, ‘Gina. _

 

She sighed again, then opened her eyes and stood. “Okay then, ‘Body Woman,’” she said to Violet, “let’s go see if it actually takes the both of us to get me ready for work.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Forty minutes later, Regina and Violet emerged from Regina’s bedroom. Regina had let Violet pick and lay out her clothes. She had to admit the girl had taste. The President was now decked out in a navy blue suit with a knee-length skirt, black pumps and sheer black hose and a sky blue blouse. Regina had handled her own make-up, but had taken the supreme risk of letting the strange girl fix her hair. She didn’t do too bad, adding waves to Regina’s long dark mane that framed her face.

 

Standing with her back to the wall near the bedroom door was a tall, dark-haired woman in a black pantsuit. This was Ruby Lucas, the deputy head of Regina’s protective detail. “Good morning, Madam President,” Ruby said with a friendly smile.

 

“Good morning, Agent Lucas,” Regina said. “Where’s your boss?”

 

“She’s right here!” A voice said from down the hall. The women turned that way and spotted Emma Swan coming toward the bedroom.

 

“ _ There _ you are.” Regina said, crossing her arms. “Some protector you turned out to be!”

 

Emma waited until she was close to Regina before answering with a smirk, “Have I not done my job to your satisfaction, Madam President?”

 

“You tell me. After all, you just let some strange girl come waltzing into my room and wake me up out of a sound sleep. What if she were an axe murderer or something?”

 

“Oh don’t worry,” Emma said nonchalantly. “We tied her down to a table and stripped off all her clothes and then shoved sonar probes into all of her orifices. We didn’t find any axes hidden anywhere.”

 

Regina’s eyes bugged out a little, then she turned to look at Violet...who was blushing and trying very hard not to giggle.

 

Then Regina turned back to Emma, who smirked as she said, “Okay...what we  _ really _ did was perform the usual security checks and manage to clear Violet high enough to be around your august personage. We don’t clear axe murderers, all right?”

 

Regina was only slightly put off by Emma’s less-than-respectful tone. In fact, she was used to it, so she couldn’t get too angry. Emma’s take-no-prisoners style of dealing with her principle had been in place from the moment they met, but Regina put up with it because Emma (she grudgingly admitted) really was good at her job.

 

So instead of trying to stare Emma down, Regina just rolled her eyes and huffed, “Fine! You did your job! What _ ever!” _

 

“So nice to be appreciated…” Emma said in an aside to Ruby.

 

“Ready to go, Madam President?” Violet asked.

 

“Go where?” Regina said.

 

“The Oval Office.”

 

“Well, I thought I’d have breakfast first…”

 

Violet blushed again. “Actually, Ms. Dee... _ Mal _ said I should get you to the Oval as soon as I got you up and dressed.”

 

“Oh,  _ did _ she? And did she also tell you what to do in case I, as President of the United States, refused to do your bidding?”

 

Violet looked a little scared by that, but nodded bravely and answered, “She said to tell you that she, as the person who  _ made  _ you President, would happily resign and switch sides if you ran for re-election.”

 

Regina winced at that, took a moment to think it over, then said, “Well...I guess we’re going to my office now.”

 

Emma smiled as she turned and headed back down the hall. “Queen heading to the Oval…” She said into her cuff mike.

 

Regina fell in step behind Emma, with Violet at her side and Ruby taking up the rear. The women stayed in this formation until they reached Regina’s private elevator and returned to it when they emerged on the main floor of the White House. As they made their way through the building more Secret Service agents appeared from nowhere until they’d formed a cordon around Regina and Violet. The cordon stretched and loosened a bit as the group exited the Executive Mansion and made their way to the West Wing along the West Colonnade.

 

The colonnade led directly to the outer door to the Oval Office. When they reached it Emma opened the door and did a quick visual sweep of the space before going in and standing with her back against a bare part of the wall. Violet came in next and went straight through to the Presidential Secretary’s Office. With Regina safely delivered to the Oval, Ruby and the other agents retreated back along the colonnade to enter the West Wing through the outer door to the secretary’s office

 

Regina entered last and took a moment to admire the decor of the office. She’d chosen a style similar to that chosen by the first President Bush, with a blue presidential seal rug and light blue curtains at the windows, along with white cushioned couches and white chairs by the decorative fireplace. Her desk, however, was the famous Resolute desk, which had been used by several presidents aside from Bush Senior. The most notable was John F. Kennedy.

 

Regina had just hung her suit jacket over the back of her desk chair when the voice of her secretary came over the intercom on the desk. “Madam President, the Chief of Staff is on her way in.”

 

Before Regina could acknowledge the announcement, a tall, well-dressed, smiling blonde entered the Oval through a side door. This was Maleficent de Beauregard, former litigator, current political insider and the architect of Regina’s campaign. She seemed remarkably cheerful as she said, “Good Morning, Madam President.”

 

Regina just glared at her and pointed. “You!”

 

Maleficent just answered the accusatory stance by making her smile a tad more innocent. “Moi?”

 

Regina lowered her hand to her hip. “The campaign is over. Exactly when do you stop running my life for me?”

 

“Am I running your life, Madam President?”

 

“Apparently...or were you not actually in the room when we agreed I don’t need a body woman?”

 

“No, I was there, and we did agree you didn’t need one.”

 

“Then explain Violet Morgan!”

 

“ _ You _ don’t need a body woman, but  _ the President  _ needs one.”

 

Regina frowned at her. “Is that hair color you’re using seeping into your brain?”

 

Mal shook her head and dropped the innocent act. “Look, Regina, it’s as much my job to serve this office as it is to work for you.”

 

“Okay, but what’s that got to do with Violet?”

 

“The salary for a Presidential Valet is a line-item in the annual White House operating budget. If you decide not to use a valet it’s a line-item your political opponents will want to cut from the budget as long as you’re in office.”

 

“So? Let them.”

 

“It won’t always be  _ your _ office, Regina, and your successor may be someone we like, and that President might need a body woman or man, and the people who cut that line might still be in Congress and might be reluctant to give that money back, because they’re spending it on something else. That means the next White House staff will have to go to political war over a single line item,  _ or _ the next President will have to pay for his or her own valet out of his or her own pocket, like in the olden days when DC’s rush hour traffic was composed of horses and buggies.”

 

“So, even though I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself in the morning, you hired Violet just so her salary would remain in the budget in perpetuity?”

 

“Right, because the President needs a valet.”

 

“Like a condom…”

 

“ _ Just _ like.”

 

Regina face-palmed, counted to ten while her eyes were covered, then looked up at Mal again. “Okay, fine, but why did you send her to get me up at the ass-crack of dawn?”

 

“Today’s your first full day in office, which means you have appointments all the way up to that ass-crack, and I didn’t want your first appointment to be interrupted or cut short.”

 

“And it’s so important that I can’t even have coffee first?”

 

“You can have either Kathryn or Violet bring you some coffee right now, and your breakfast will be waiting for you in your dining room when you’re done. Okay?”

 

Regina put up her hands in surrender, then reached for the intercom. “Kathryn, bring me some coffee, will you?”

 

The secretary, Kathryn Midas, answered immediately. “Yes, ma’am...and the National Security Advisor is on her way.”

 

Regina blinked. “Oh...thank you.” She switched off and turned to back to Mal. “Mulan’s on her way. Is that my first meeting?”

 

“It is. She’s coming to give you your ‘Eyes Only’ security briefing.”

 

“But I already got my top secret briefing during the transition.”

 

“Right. That was your ‘Top Secret’ briefing. This is your ‘Eyes Only’ brief.”

 

Regina stared at her for a beat. “And the difference would be…?”

 

“This is the stuff she couldn’t tell you about until you were officially President...which today you are. Yayy!”

 

As if on cue, there were a couple of raps on the door that led to the secretary’s office, then in walked three more attractive women. Kathryn was in the lead. She carried a mug of hot coffee over to Regina’s desk, smiled at the president, then walked back out. The other two were Fa Mulan, a young, sharp woman dressed in a dark suit, and a much taller brunette wearing a U.S. Army Class-A uniform and carrying a leather briefcase.

 

“Good morning, Madam President,” Mulan said. She was just as cheerful as Mal had been. Regina found it annoying.

 

“Good morning, Mulan,” Regina said as she picked up the mug. “So...you’re here to give me an even  _ more _ top secret briefing than the last one, is that right?”

 

“Yes, ma’am, that’s why I’m here.”

 

“Great.” Regina paused to take a long swig of coffee, let the warmth and caffeine work through her, then set the mug down. “Let’s get started.”

 

Mulan nodded. “First things first, I’d like you to meet Lieutenant Colonel Dorothy Gale, United States Army.”

 

The brunette came to attention before shaking hands with Regina. “A pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

 

“Likewise,” Regina said. When they stood back Regina’s gaze was drawn to the briefcase Dorothy was holding. “Is that what I think it is?”

 

Dorothy smiled. “Yes, ma’am. This is the ‘Football.’”

 

Regina took a closer look, and realized that Col. Gale wasn’t just carrying the briefcase. Her right wrist was handcuffed to it. The case also had a combination lock.

 

Regina was immediately curious. “Can I see it?”

 

“Of course,” Dorothy said. She came closer to the desk and rested the case on top of it.

 

As Dorothy unlocked her handcuffs and entered the combination to the case, Mulan said, “In fact, Madam President, we’re going to start the briefing by showing you how to use the Football to enact nuclear policy.”

 

Regina huffed at the euphemism.  _ I guess the phrase “launch nuclear weapons” is too impolitic. _ She watched closely as Dorothy opened the briefcase and reached inside, her breath catching as the officer drew out a dark leather folio and rested it on the desk. Her heart skipped half a beat as Dorothy opened the folio to reveal…

 

“It’s...an iPad,” Regina said with a frown.

 

Dorothy nodded. “Yes, ma’am. The NSA finds it easier to secure these against wireless infiltration than PCs.”

 

Regina smirked. “Right. No, I mean...it’s  _ just _ an iPad.”

 

Dorothy smiled. “Yes, ma’am. I guess you were expecting something more complex? Like a miniature control station with blinky readouts? A countdown screen? Maybe a big red button?”

 

Regina blushed a little. “Kind of, yeah…”

 

“Understandable, ma’am. Hollywood makes everything look dramatic.”

 

Everyone chuckled at that, then Mulan said, “The purpose of the Football isn’t to start you playing ‘Missile Command.’ Your sole function in the face of a nuclear attack is to decide how we respond. The Football is there to provide options for that response.”

 

With that, Dorothy turned on the tablet. The start screen was deep blue and sported the presidential seal, and displayed in white caps were the phrases “EYES ONLY: POTUS”  and “STRATEGIC INTEGRATED OPERATIONS PLANS.” Below that was a password prompt, only in place of the word “Password” was the word “Authenticate.”

 

Regina shook her head. “I get Hollywood drama, but I find myself unable to believe how unexciting this is.”

 

Mulan shrugged. “If you think this is unexciting, we only started using the tablet a few presidents ago. Before that it was just a big binder.”

 

“We still have the binder,” Dorothy said. She lifted the lip of the briefcase open a little wider to show Regina the spine of the binder. “We keep it as back-up. Laminated paper tends not to break as easily as a tablet might.”

 

Regina nodded. “So how do I use this thing?”

 

Dorothy reached over to the empty side of the folio and pulled a credit card out of the small pocket in the bottom corner. She handed it to Regina. Instead of one line of numbers, Regina saw there were six.

 

“Pick one line and enter it into the prompt line,” Dorothy said. “Only you will know which number you pick.” With that she averted her eyes, as did the others. Regina picked the second row from the bottom and entered the numbers. The screen changed from the start screen to a start menu. The icons were all national flags, with their countries labeled below.

 

“Done,” Regina said.

 

Dorothy turned back to her. “In the event of a nuclear attack, it will be up to you to decide if we respond in kind. At this point you will be in contact with the Officer-In-Charge at the National Military Command Center. He or she will ask if you wish to retaliate with nuclear weapons. If your answer is ‘yes,’ you will be asked to ‘authenticate,’ or confirm who you are and confirm the order. At that point you will say: ‘This is the President of the United States. I authorize the release of nuclear weapons. I authenticate:’ then you read off the number you picked then read off the time.”

 

“Got it,” Regina said.

 

“The NMCC has the same options as are in your menu, so the commander there can recommend options that you can agree to. If you’d rather decide for yourself, you can consult the tablet. Let’s say the attacking nation is China.” Dorothy reached over and touched the flag of the People’s Republic of China. The display shifted from the different national flags to a screen full of Chinese flags with numbered “SIOP” labels.

 

“Strategic wargamers have worked up a series of different ways China might launch a nuclear attack against us, from single tactical weapons to all-out mass destruction, and mapped out the appropriate responses. If you prefer, you can study the different options and go with what you think is appropriate.”

 

“I assume I won’t have that much time to do homework in the middle of an attack...”

 

“It would be unlikely, ma’am, but you don’t have to wait for an attack to study the ops plans. I or one of my colleagues will have the Football near you at all times, and you can call for it whenever you like.”

 

“All right...so, we’re under attack and I order a retaliation. What’s next?”

 

“Our nuclear forces go into ‘Snapcount,’ which is what we call the countdown to readiness. During this time the forces necessary to carry out the SIOP are brought to bear: land-based missiles are fueled, ballistic missile subs transit to launch points and any strategic bombers on patrol head to their targets, as needed. Everything happens automatically once you give the order. The platforms deploy as soon as they’re in place.”

 

“Okay...what if I change my mind? Can I change my mind?”

 

“Of course you can change your mind.”

 

“Even if we’re in ‘Snapcount?’”

 

“Even if we’re in ‘Snapcount.’”

 

“So then I can stop the attack…”

 

“ _ Only _ you can stop the attack. Once our forces are in Snapcount only an order from the president can make them stand down. You simply give the stand down order the way you gave the release order. Identify and authenticate. It’s only too late once missiles start flying. There’s no such thing as ‘self-destruct.’ That’s more Hollywood.”

 

“I see...so that’s it?”

 

“That’s it, ma’am. Keep the card on your person at all times. You can try to memorize your authentication code, but it’s not necessary. It is, however, impossible for you to enact nuclear policy without the code.”

 

“Got it.” Regina tucked the little card into the inside pocket of her suit jacket, then turned back to the tablet and started scrolling through the menu, skimming through the flags and country names being displayed…

 

...until one caught her eye. “Wait a second…” She looked closer, sure she was wrong, but: “That’s the United Kingdom.”

 

Dorothy looked and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That is the United Kingdom.”

 

“I wasn’t looking for confirmation, Colonel! What’s the UK doing on a list of our nuclear enemies?”

 

“Actually, Madam President, if you look closely you’ll see that the menu includes any country either possessing or on its way to possessing Weapons of Mass Destruction, irrespective of their political relationships.”

 

So Regina looked closely and was dismayed to find France and Israel were also on the menu. “But...why include  _ any _ of our allies??”

 

“Relationships change, political systems change, and you never know when today’s friend can become tomorrow’s enemy. The goal of the Football is to provide strike options for  _ any  _ imaginable contingency.”

 

Regina was starting to get angry. “That might be, but I for one can’t imagine  _ any _ contingency that would make me launch nuclear weapons at  _ my own sister! _ Can’t...can’t we just get rid of that one?”

 

“Of course, ma’am.” Dorothy highlighted the UK icon with a tap, then used a drop-down menu to hide it.”

 

Regina calmed down noticeably after that. “Thank you,” she said.

 

“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Dorothy said, unphased by what just happened. After all, the icon wasn’t gone, just hidden. In any case, there was a back-up binder.

 

“Well, Colonel,” Mulan said, “why don’t you get that packed up again?”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Dorothy turned the tablet off and put it back in the briefcase.

 

As she sealed everything back up, Regina said, “Thank you for getting me set up, Colonel.”

 

“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Dorothy said. Once she had the briefcase locked and secured to her wrist, she came to attention again and said, “If you need me, I’ll be right outside.” With that, she turned smartly and headed for the door to the secretary’s office.

 

When she was gone, Mulan said, “Now...shall we sit down and go through the rest of the brief?”

 

* * *

  
  
  


The briefing ended ten minutes later. Mulan left the same way Dorothy did while Regina followed Mal back the way she had come. This door led to a short hallway which contained Regina’s private bathroom and her study, and the door at the other end of the hall led to her private dining room. Here, a Navy steward was waiting to serve her breakfast from a cart loaded with trays and covered platters.

 

“Care to join me?” Regina asked.

 

“No thanks,” Mal said. “I’ve already had breakfast.”

 

“Of course you have, but you don’t care of  _ I _ starve to death.”

 

“Oh, I care, Regina, but I always keep in mind that you live in a building full of people whose job it is to make your life as trouble free as possible. Nobody here’s going to actually let you go without a meal. That’s an automatic fail.”

 

“Do you have an answer for everything?”

 

Mal grinned. “I  _ do! _ That’s why you hired me.” She left then with a wave and a spring in her step.

 

“My entire staff is way too cheerful,” Regina muttered as she sat down. The steward had brought several items for Regina to choose from. She settled on scrambled egg whites, multigrain toast and grapefruit juice. Once he’d laid everything out for her, he offered a smile and left with the cart.

 

And that left Regina sitting at a table for six in a fancy dining room, about to eat breakfast alone...or not, because just then something occurred to her. She turned to her right to look behind her. Emma was there, standing in a corner to one side of the door that led back to the Oval.

 

“I almost forgotten you’d be there,” she said.

 

Emma smiled. “It’s all right if you forget me completely.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Regina said. “I don’t like ignoring people I work with. It’s rude.”

 

“Well then, that’s okay. I don’t actually work with you or for you…”

 

“You just protect me,” Regina finished with a smile. It was Emma’s mantra. “But does it ever bother you? Being ignored? I mean, Mal and Mulan were just in my office for more than ten minutes and neither one of them so much as looked in your direction, much less said hello. That would grate on me.”

 

“Not if you had my job. Being ignored is ideal. When people come to see you, they focus on you, which is great. If you’re the center of attention, while everyone is focused on you, I can watch them without them realizing it, or at least worrying about it. No, I worry when someone is more interested in me than you. That someone is likely trying to evaluate your security, and such an evaluation rarely means the person is up to any good.”

 

“Oh...so I guess you wouldn’t want to join me for breakfast, then?”

 

“No thank you. I’ve already eaten...and I need to keep my hands free.”

 

“Right.” Regina sighed and turned back to her breakfast.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Mal hadn’t been kidding about the number of appointments awaiting Regina. There was a veritable wedding-guest list of various officials who all “just need(ed) five minutes with the President.” Regina was astounded how many hours so many five-minute meetings could stretch into. Mal and Kathryn worked together to organize and prioritize the meetings and keep them all moving, and they still ended up postponing about a fifth of the appointments to later dates.

 

Regina returned to the Residence at about Eight-thirty, PM, mentally spent. Dinner was waiting for her in the dining room across from her bedroom. She ate while Violet turned down her bed and picked out a suit for tomorrow. As before, Regina’s only company during her meal was her Secret Service guardian. This time it was Ruby, beginning her first watch on the night shift. Violet left after completing her tasks and promising Regina she’d wake her up at a more reasonable time in the morning.

 

Regina went into the bedroom right after she was done eating. Her cell phone rang while she was getting ready to turn in. She knew who it was before she even answered. “Hey, you,” She said.

 

“Hey,  _ You,”  _ Zelena said. “How was your first full day?”

 

“Tiring, aggravating...in some ways a little frightening, but mostly just tiring.”

 

“And that’s only day one! Your first hundred days should just _ sail _ by!”

 

“Your mouth to God’s ears. Oh, guess what! I have my own ‘Alice’ now.”

 

“Bravo, Little Sister! I’ve been telling you to get one of your own for ages now!”

 

“I didn’t get her, Zee...not really. Apparently she comes with the job.”

 

“Awfully great perque, that! I had to bring my Alice with me to my new job…”

 

“I didn’t want that kind of assistant at all. Seems too pretentious…”

 

“A pretension that you’ll come to find very useful…”

 

“I’ve already heard the condom analogy, Zee…”

 

Zelena chuckled. “Fine. Then she’s a smart phone. You can’t think what use she’d be until you actually have her. Now that you do, you’ll come to wonder how you ever got along without her. Give yourself over to...wait, what’s her name?”

 

“Violet.”

 

“Ah, yes...give yourself over  _ completely _ to Violet! Let her mold you, shape you, dress you! Let yourself fall into her arms and embrace her loving attention!”

 

“She’s my valet, not my masseuse.”

 

“Find out if she can do that too. Alice is absolutely  _ wonderful _ with my feet!”

 

“So you’re saying you want me to let Violet turn me into an idle hedonist like you?”

 

“Don’t all little girls want to be just like their big sisters?”

 

“Not in my case…”

 

“Are you sure? After all, you _ did  _ run for President while I was campaigning to get my party into power…”

 

“Ah, but you only started campaigning  _ after  _ I filed for the primary. So I was _ first _ ! So there!”

 

Zelena huffed. “Agree to disagree, dear...now, what was it about your day that frightened you? It couldn’t have been this Violet…”

 

Regina had to think about it. Since her briefing this morning was meant strictly for her “eyes only,” she couldn’t very well lay it out for Zelena, despite her sister’s position. After a moment, she decided to change the subject. “Hey, do you remember when we had the chance to play together as kids?”

 

“Of course I do! I treasure those times! We had so few of them…”

 

“And do you remember our favorite game?”

 

Zelena gasped. “Of  _ course! _ Magic War!”

 

Regina grinned. “Yep, Magic War, where we used to pretend to be magical women trying to destroy each other!”

 

“Yes, yes! It was our own little twisted version of tag! I would pretend to be The Wicked Witch of the West!”

 

“And I would be the sorcerous Evil Queen from Snow White!”

 

“And we would use  _ magic _ to destroy each other!”

 

“But not just any magic!”

 

“Right! I would use magic tornadoes!”

 

“And I would use magic fireballs!”

 

“Oh, it was glorious!”

 

The memory got the two women laughing for a bit. When Regina recovered, she said, “Yeah, we really had fun, didn’t we?”

 

“We had so little time together in those visits,” Zelena said. “We had to make the most of them.”

 

“True,” Regina said.

 

“What made you think of that?”

 

Regina sighed. “These jobs we have.” She went over to her nightstand and picked up the card with the authentication codes. “I mean...do you realize what we can do now?”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Half a world away, in her own bedroom, Zelena thought about what they’d just talked about and understood. “Yes, I do.” She turned to her own nightstand and picked up a similar card, examining it in the low lighting. “We can  _ actually _ destroy each other with fireballs...”

 

“...and tornadoes,” Regina said. “There are things people should really think harder about before running for ‘the highest office.’”

 

“Indeed. One should consider what comes with the position.”

 

“That old comic book adage. Great Power…”

 

“Great Responsibility.” Zelena frowned at the thought, then she shook her head and put the card back down. “Well, speaking of responsibility, we should both get to sleep. New days for us both tomorrow, and we’re not leaving these jobs any time soon.”

 

“No we’re not…” Regina said.

 

“So, better to rest up for them, yes? We can talk again soon. Good Night, Little Sister.”

 

“Good Night, Big Sis.”

 

Both women hung up. Zelena rested her phone next to the card and lay back to try and rest, but Regina’s thoughts brought up memories of Zelena’s recent high security briefing, one that included the number of nuclear weapons stockpiled by Britain and America...and along with those, contingencies in place that Zelena never thought they’d ever need.

 

“Hopefully, ‘Magic War’ will always just be playtime between us girls…” Zelena muttered.


	4. Speech

Belle French made her way through the cold early morning air to Number I0 Downing Street. As she entered, she could tell even at this hour the office level of the government building was alive with activity, but she was reporting directly to the Prime Minister, and that meant bypassing the office level and heading up to the Residence.

 

The entrance to the PM’s living quarters was at the top of the main staircase. It was a rather nondescript door locked with a security system. There was a keypad to the left of the door. Belle looked at it as she wondered if she should knock first, then decided that the PM had given her the entry code for a reason, so she entered it and opened the door. “Prime Minister?” She called out. “It’s Belle! I’m coming in!”

 

“In here, Miss!” Another voice called back. It sounded like Alice, and from what Belle could tell she was calling from the Master Bedroom, so she headed there. Sure enough, she found Alice there laying out clothes and setting up to get the PM ready for the day.

 

“The Prime Minister’s showerin’, Miss,” Alice said when she saw Belle. “She ought to be finished soon.”

 

“Oh, yes,” Belle said. She could hear the shower running now that she was close enough to the master bath. “Well, she asked me to let her know immediately of any last-minute changes, but I could wait until she gets down to her office…”

 

“No, no,” Alice said. “If she said ‘immediately’ she’ll get immediately.” With that she walked over to the bathroom door and knocked hard three times, then called in, “Miss? It’s Miss French! She’s got news for you!”

 

Through the sound of cascading water, Prime Minister Zelena West called back through the door, “Belle? Oh, Good! Come to the door!”

 

Belle joined Alice at the door and said, “Prime Minister,” she said, “if this is a bad time…”

 

“You’ll have to speak up, Darling!” Zelena said. “Use your outside voice!”

 

Belle grinned at that and spoke louder. “I said I could come back later!”

 

“No! It’s fine! Do you have the last changes for the speech?”

 

“Yes, ma’am! There are only a few!”

 

“Read them to me!”

 

Belle consulted the tablet she was carrying and read four passages and edits suggested by The Queen’s staff. When she was done, she added, “The relevant members of the Cabinet have seen them and signed off on them!”

 

“Off to the printer then?”

 

“Yes! It will be delivered to Westminster on time!”

 

“Good! That was too close for comfort!” A moment later the noise of the shower stopped. “Alice!” Zelena called out then. “Ready to catch?”

 

Belle blinked at the strange question, then watched confused as Alice rushed to grab two towels from where she’d laid them. She flung one onto a shoulder and held the other one open in front of her. “Keepin’ the wicket, Miss!” Alice called back. “Come on!”

 

Now Belle was utterly perplexed, so she turned toward the bathroom door...just in time for it to open and reveal the Prime Minister, bare naked and dripping wet, and Belle’s gaze locked on Zelena’s form as she trotted out of the bathroom and headed to Alice’s waiting towel. Only after she’d caught a glimpse of Zelena’s shapely rear did it occur to Belle to shut her eyes.

 

“There you are,” she heard Alice say. “One of these days you’re gonna come out all waterlogged, Miss.”

 

Zelena giggled. “That’s only with a bath, Alice,” she chided, then she said, “Belle, you can open your eyes. We’re all girls here.”

 

Belle opened one eye warily...and saw the other two women in a strange embrace, with Alice’s towel covered hands roaming all over Zelena’s body while Zelena leaned into the girl and twisted and turned to let the roaming happen.

 

And she closed her eye again.

 

Finally, she heard Alice say, “There we are, all wrapped up,” so she opened her eyes again to see Alice tying the spare towel around Zelena and covering her up. Belle let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

 

With the wrapping done, Alice came to attention and pointed imperiously to Zelena’s make-up table and exclaimed, “To the chair, young lady!”

 

Zelena then came to attention and offered Alice a mock salute. “Oui, Mon Capitain!” She cried out, then she turned on her heel and both women marched to the make-up table, where Zelena sat down and Alice prepared to do her hair.

 

Belle shook her head. “Are you  _ sure _ you don’t want me to wait downstairs, ma’am?”

 

“No,” Zelena said, “I want you to tell me if Miss DeVil is still dragging her feet.”

 

Belle sighed. Zelena was referring to one of her coalition’s party leaders, Ella DeVil, a Northern Ireland MP.  “Well, she did pass along a few misgivings about the forthcoming NHS funding bill brought to her attention by her fellow MPs…”

 

Zelena moaned and rolled her eyes. “Translation: Miss Cruella has thought of a new way to squeeze blood out of me in exchange for her continued support.” Belle giggled at Zelena’s use of DeVil’s nickname, one widely known in the Commons and heavily despised by the MP in question. “Well, add her to my appointments at the earliest opportunity…”

 

“Already done,” Belle said, “first thing tomorrow.”

 

“Very good.”

 

Up to this point, Alice had been brushing Zelena’s long, wet hair in preparation. Once she was ready, she brandished a hair dryer. “Right then, outside voices from now on!”

 

Alice clicked on the machine, and for the next several minutes Zelena and Belle had to discuss affairs of state at the tops of their lungs while Alice dried and crimped and waved Zelena’s ginger locks to the sound of a miniature jet engine filling the room. Then, sooner than she expected, the blow dryer noise was gone and Belle found herself screaming, “...SAID HE WOULD RATHER FUCK A  PIG THAN SUPPORT THAT REFERENDUM!”

 

The following silence made Belle cringe as she realized what she’d just shouted. Both Zelena and Alice stared for a moment...then they both chuckled, and Zelena said, “Well, then I’ll have Robin talk to him and convince him of the error of his ways.”

 

Belle was blushing, but she smiled as she started to feel better. “Yes, ma’am…” she said sheepishly.

 

Alice just shook her head. She didn’t care about affairs of state and felt she had more important things to take care of. “Right, then,” she said as she patted Zelena’s shoulders, “up you get!”

 

Zelena stood up straight and Alice reached to the knot in the towel and in one move unfastened it and whipped it off Zelena’s body...and Belle had to close her eyes again.

 

“Over to the bed!” Alice commanded in that same imperious tone.

 

Belle waited a moment then slowly opened her eyes again just as Zelena reached the bed. The PPS had to force herself to look at the PM’s shoulder blades to avoid staring hungrily at her behind, then Alice drew her attention as she grabbed some garments off the bed. She held up two pairs of pants for Zelena’s approval, one a set of athletic shorts, the other a lacy thong.

 

“Now then,” Alice said, “what’s for today?” She held up the thong. “Secret Sexy?” She held up the shorts. “Or All Business?”

 

“Definitely Secret Sexy,” Zelena said, and even though she couldn’t see her face Belle could hear the smile in her voice.

 

Alice nodded her approval. “Very Good, Miss! Impeccable taste as always!” She tossed the shorts aside cavalierly and bent low to hold the thong open by Zelena’s ankles. “Ste-ep IN!” She commanded.

 

Zelena supported herself on Alice’s back as she stepped one foot then the other into the garment, which Alice promptly slid up Zelena’s legs and then took several liberties settling them in place and adjusting them. Zelena gasped softly a couple of times while Alice worked. The sound made Belle cross her legs a bit.

 

Alice failed to note her effect on the other women. She simply went back to the bed and retrieved the thong’s matching bra. “All right, let’s get the girls snuggled in,” she said, then commanded, “Back to me!”

 

Zelena pivoted on her heel, then chuckled lightly when Belle had to close her eyes again to avoid looking at her naked breasts. Then a moment later Belle heard another of those gasps. She risked opening her eyes and found that Alice was just clasping the bra closed. “I swear, Alice,” Zelena said with a smirk, “that your fingers find new places to tickle me every time you dress me.”

 

“Gotta be bold, Miss,” Alice said, completely unashamed. “Gotta make sure the fit is right.”

 

“A likely story,” Zelena chided.

 

“As likely as always,” Alice countered. “Now then, shall we garter?”

 

“Well, it’s not Secret Sexy without garters, now is it?” Zelena said.

 

“My thoughts ex-actly, Miss!” Alice went back to the bed and retrieved a pair of lacy, sheer black stockings and a garter belt complete with garters, and again she went through the process of clothing Zelena in the garments, and this time Belle couldn’t close her eyes or look away. She was mesmerised by the sight.

 

That proved to be a problem, as Zelena had to say her name three times before she heard. “Uh, yes, Prime Minister?”

 

“Was there anything else?” Zelena said as Alice adjusted the garter belt.

 

“Oh, yes…” Belle said, “sorry. I might be...a bit distracted…”

 

“Ah-ah!” Alice said. “Beauty comes first! Back to the table!”

 

Zelena rolled her eyes and mimicked “Back to the table” as she obediently went back to the make-up table. This time she opted to put on her own make-up, bending low over the table so she could see her full face in the mirror.

 

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Belle muttered, now desperate not to take in the perfect posterior view Zelena was offering. Instead she turned back to Alice, who was readying Zelena’s suit for the day.

 

Zelena walked back over to the bed when she was done. She smiled at Alice. “Pretty?”

 

“Gorgeous,” Alice judged. “Ready to suit up?”

 

“Lay it on me,” Zelena said.

 

Alice did just that, dressing Zelena in a high-necked white blouse and beige suit one garment at a time, starting with the knee-length skirt and taking as much loving care with these clothes as she had with everything else to that point. The finishing touch was a pair of black high-heeled pumps, which she had Zelena step into. With Zelena fully dressed, Alice took a step back and commanded, “Strike a pose!” Zelena went into a model pose, complete with pursed lips. “And again!” Zelena changed poses and went all pouty. “Lovin’ it, lovin’ it,” Alice said, the cue for Zelena to start freestyling. After a few more poses Alice applauded and said, “Absolutely Fabulous! They’re gonna love you!”

 

Zelena straightened up and bowed slightly to her assistant. “I thank you.”

 

“Briefcase is at the door…breakfast in the office?”

 

“Breakfast in the office, indeed!”

 

“Wise as always, Miss! Never fault your reasonin’! I’ll have it for you in half a tick, now go forth and Rule Brittania!”

 

“I  _ shall _ , with great enthusiasm!” Zelena said, and with that she pivoted and marched out of the bedroom with a purpose. “Come along, Belle!” She called back from the hallway.

 

Belle, still unsure of what she’d just spent the last long while witnessing, shook off the confusion and rushed to catch up to Zelena, who was just retrieving her briefcase and about to open the door.

 

A moment later on the stairs, with the door to the residence closed behind them, Belle dared to ask, “Does she dress you like that _ every _ morning?”

 

“Oh, goodness no,” Zelena said, “but I tend to let her indulge herself on special days, and today is special.”

 

“I see…” Belle said, “well, about that indulgence...one might observe that it makes Alice rather  _ forward _ in her methods…”

 

“That??” Zelena said. “Oh, god, that’s nothing. There’ve been a couple of black-tie galas when I’d needed a cold shower  _ after _ she’d got me dressed.”

 

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

 

“It was rather off-putting at first, but she’s been with me for three years now and I find I’m actually better off if I let her treat me like her personal Barbie doll. I certainly end up looking and dressing better, don’t you think?”

 

“Well, frankly, I think you’re quite attractive all the time…”

 

“Well, thank you, but that is still mostly due to Alice. She doesn’t just outfit me to perfection herself, she’s taught me how to do it myself when she’s not available.”

 

“And for that reason you allow the indulgences.”

 

“Rather, I find that the end results make them more tolerable. Why? Do you think I should rein her in?”

 

“She’s your assistant, Prime Minister. It’s not my place to tell you how to deal with her.” _ Especially _ , Belle added in her mind,  _ since I find I’m rather jealous of her… _

 

* * *

  
  
  


Under normal circumstances the State Opening Of Parliament - the transition from one government to the next - usually took place during the summer months. With the new government coming in as the result of a No Confidence vote, the Opening would be taking place today, on this cold winter morning. At approximately 11:30 AM, GMT, Her Majesty would address both houses of Parliament in the House of Peers with a speech laying out the Government’s agenda for this term.

 

Until then it was a typical day for the new Prime Minister. Zelena started in her office in conference with Robin Locksley and other members of her staff while she ate a light breakfast provided by Alice. The meeting was set to select candidates for Cabinet positions that hadn’t been filled yet, and was followed by a meeting in the Cabinet Room with those members who were already selected. Then it was off to Westminster where she met with her coalition’s party leaders, and then with ranking members of her own party. The rest of the morning would be spent in the Commons, mostly discussing small, inconsequential bills as the minutes counted down to their summoning by the Queen.

 

When it was close to time for the address, the official known as Black Rod, in full traditional regalia, made his way at a formal and steady pace to the Commons, carrying one of the several golden Royal Maces over his right shoulder. In his left hand he brandished the symbol of his title, a long black rod with a silver tip. His task was to bring the Commons membership to the House of Peers.

 

Tradition would put a few obstacles in his way.

 

He was spotted when he was just a few meters away from the open doors to the Commons chamber. At the sight of him, The Doorkeeper of the Commons shouted the order, “Close the door!” At that command, the Sargent-At-Arms grabbed the open door and slammed it in Black Rod’s face.

 

Standing next to Zelena at the Treasury Bench, Fiona Black, the new Chief Secretary of State, turned to Zelena and said softly, “I wonder if he’s developed some sort of complex getting a door slammed in his face so often.” It made Zelena chuckle.

 

Three loud impacts echoed through the chamber from the closed door. This was Black Rod using said rod to knock. Again, on the command of the Doorkeeper, the Sargent-At-Arms opened the door. Black Rod stepped in, bowed to the Speaker of the House, then approached the table between the Government and Opposition benches and bowed to the Speaker again.

 

“Mister Speaker,” Black Rod announced, “The Queen commands this honourable house-” He paused to turn and bow to the Opposition and Government benches in turn. “-to attend Her Majesty immediately in the House of Peers.”

 

A second later, a gruff old voice from the Government back benches called out, “Better than lunch in the Tea Room.” This caused light laughter throughout the chamber. Afterward, the members of the Commons assembled and the Speaker led them in procession through the palace to the chamber of the upper house.

 

By tradition, Zelena found herself walking alongside the Opposition leader. She knew he wouldn’t be in this position long, so she couldn’t help but tweak him a little. “You know you needn’t leave office entirely.”

 

The Opposition Leader smirked and shrugged. “I’ll do much better in private industry,” he said, “and the money for speaking engagements ought to triple my retirement savings.”

 

“With the added benefit of not having to take direction from a woman,” Zelena said.

 

Now the Leader smiled. “Actually, the firm I’m going to has a woman CEO,” he said. “And I’m not avoiding Miss Belfry. Rather, I’m simply staying out of her way. In any case, she’s going to be more of a problem for you than me.”

 

The slight note of glee in the man’s voice made Zelena’s spirits fall slightly, and she glanced back in the procession at the Opposition’s expected next Party Leader, currently the shadow Health Secretary. If the gossip Zelena had been hearing was correct, Victoria Belfry was about to be elevated well above her station. Such a promotion could either inspire great fear or great ambition. Given Victoria’s reputation in the chamber, Zelena expected the latter. She knew the woman was the Opposition’s attempt to mirror-image her. Victoria Belfry was fairly young, quite beautiful, highly intelligent and politically tenacious. Zelena could also see that she was an impeccable dresser.  _ I wonder if she has her own Alice, _ she thought idly.

 

Soon the Members of the House of Commons had assembled in the gallery overlooking the House of Peers, filled with members of the Peerage wearing their traditional robes of office. Zelena’s attention was drawn immediately to the thrones situated on the dais between the Peers’ benches. The Queen was seated on the Royal Throne. As had become custom, she had dispensed with wearing traditional robes and the Crown and was instead wearing a simple dress and hat. Seated to her left was her son, The Prince of Wales. This was also happening more often, as it seemed old age was taking a greater toll on the Duke of Edinburgh than on Her Majesty. This was worrying to Zelena, for mostly selfish reasons. She didn’t want to be the Prime Minister who had to preside over the death of England’s Longest Reigning Monarch or Her Consort.

 

With all of Parliament assembled, the Lord Chancellor delivered a booklet containing her speech to the Queen. He descended to one knee to present it, and after she received it he rose, bowed, and stepped down from the dais. A moment later, The Queen began her speech: “My Lords and members of the House of Commons…”

 

_ Here we go _ , Zelena thought, then she followed along in her head as the Queen laid out the agenda of Her Government as written. Her Majesty’s voice was clear and steady as she spoke of renegotiating Britain’s exit from the EU, increasing funding for the NHS, balancing the military budget, making tax rates more fair, focusing more on worldwide environmental issues and sundry other items. It wasn’t until she’d heard it in this context that Zelena realized how much she was promising to get done in five measly years.

 

_ Yes, Miss Big Shot wanted to be Prime Minister _ , she thought with a grimace.

 

The Queen ended the speech with, “My Lords and members of the House of Commons, other measures will be laid before you. I pray that the blessing of Almighty God may rest upon your councils.”

 

The Queen returned the speech booklet to the Lord Chancellor, then she and the Prince rose and exited the chamber, signaling the end of the proceeding, but not the speechmaking, as both houses of Parliament now had to present official responses to the speech Her Majesty had just delivered. This time Zelena wasn’t worried, since the Commons had been working on their response speeches in concert with the Government’s work on the Queen’s Speech.

 

When they were back at the Treasury Bench, Zelena confided in Fiona, “I’m a little jealous of my sister. She’ll have been in office a full year before she’ll have to deliver any kind of address to a joint session of Congress.”

 

Fiona shook her head. “That’s 365 days for something to go utterly tits-up and give her enemies ammunition,” she said. “You have the benefit of getting to the first joint speech right away, and you had Her Majesty to make it for you.”

 

Zelena thought about it. “Well when you put it that way....”

 

* * *

  
  
  


A highly eventful morning devolved into a dully typical day, and Zelena let herself into the residence around 9 PM mentally drained. She wasn’t surprised to find Alice waiting for her at the door. “Evenin’, Miss!” Alice said, just as energetic as ever. “Did we conquer the world today?”

 

“Nope,” Zelena said, “still too busy recovering from the last time we did that.”

 

“Long recovery,” Alice said as she took Zelena’s coat. “Well, can’t fix the world in a day, but I guarantee the dinner I’ve made will leave you warm and happy tonight.”

 

“Oh, you guarantee that, do you?”

 

“You’ll see for yourself in a tick, Miss. I’ve kept it warm and made sure it’s kept its flavor.”

 

“I’m sure it’s lovely, Alice, but food’s not what I need right now.”

 

“Oh? And what _ will _ you be needin’, Miss?”

 

Zelena started to act shy while smiling an embarrassed smile, and after a moment she glanced down at her feet.

 

Alice grinned. “You’re spoilt.”

 

“Utterly!” Zelena admitted.

 

“Magic word?”

 

“Please?”

 

Alice got all imperious again. “To the chair!”

 

Zelena happily obeyed. This time the chair was the big, soft easy chair in the living room with the ottoman in front of it. Zelena plopped herself into the chair and rested her long legs across the ottoman. Alice sat on the couch by Zelena’s feet and removed the PM’s shoes. “Poor little things,” Alice said, addressing Zelena’s toes, “all bundled up in those stylish little prisons all day. Never fear...Alice is here console you.”

 

Zelena giggled at the sight of Alice whispering to her toes...then she gasped and sighed as Alice’s fingers got to work, lightly kneading and massaging said toes in preparation for the main event.

 

Zelena’s cell phone rang from the side table in the foyer just as Alice was getting to the good part. “Damned phone…” Zelena muttered, then to Alice: “Ignore it.”

 

“Can’t!” Alice said as she sprang up. “You’re important so calls are important.”

 

Zelena’s feet missed Alice’s fingers for every second it took for the girl to retrieve the device and bring it back. It was still ringing as Alice handed it over and went back to her task. One look at the display told Zelena why Alice hadn’t answered it and she smiled as she did so herself. “Hey, you.”

 

“Hey, you,” Regina’s voice answered. “I’m still at work. How about you?”

 

“Just got in,” Zelena said. “Tedious day.”

 

“I can tell. I caught some of the Opening in between meetings. That is a  _ whole _ lot of ceremony just for the Queen to read off a bunch of bullet points.”

 

“Well, for the Commons it tends to be business as usual until the time for the actual reading. The bulk of the ceremony is for the Queen and the Lords. That only makes it marginally less tedious.”

 

“Funny...I thought you liked all that pomp and circumstance.”

 

“For tradition’s sake, but as a practical matter it’s a lot of prattle to go through just so one person can deliver a list that could just as easily be sent to MPs by email or instagram.”

 

“I remember you saying once that it was the most wonderful thing to see ever and you wished you could be in it.”

 

“Regina...I was seven years old, and I thought I’d get to be queen.”

 

“So, reality not living up to the dream?”

 

“Not hardly.” Just then Zelena gasped and moaned contentedly.

 

“Am I interrupting something?” Regina asked.

 

“Just Alice working her magic on me…” Zelena said.

 

“I didn’t know she was  _ that _ kind of assistant, Zee…”

 

“Get your mind out of the gutter. She’s just massaging my - Mmmm! - feet…”

 

“It doesn’t sound like that’s what she’s massaging. You sure she’s not crossing any boundaries?”

 

“You’re the second person today to question Alice’s behavior and I won’t have it! Alice’s interactions with me have always been professional and proper!”

 

“I’m only inappropriate when it’s appropriate, Miss,” Alice said with a grin, then she did something to Zelena’s right foot that made her openly suck in air and grip the armrest of the chair with her free hand.

 

“Okay, you’re right,” she said to Regina, “you are  _ definitely _ interrupting something. I’m just going to go back to it now.”

 

Regina chuckled. “Okay. We can talk again tomorrow.”

 

“Of course...tomorrow. Good night, Little Sister.”

 

“Good Night, Big Sis.”

 

Both women hung up, then Zelena slumped back in the chair and said to Alice, “What  _ was _ that, and when did you learn to do it?”

 

“I have been practicin’ Miss,” Alice said. “Gotta keep up with the new techniques.”

 

“Alice, you are a godsend!”

 

Alice chuckled. “Not accordin’ to me mum. She figures the other place.”

 

Zelena burst out laughing. Between that and the massage it was the best she’d felt all day.


	5. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anybody's wondering why I picked Zelena of all the OUaT characters to be Prime Minister, I did just so i could write this chapter. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

“Questions to the Prime Minister!!”

 

This announcement from the Speaker of the Commons, belted loud and strong from his seat, elicited a chorus of “Hear Hears” and prompted about half the members in the chamber to stand in an attempt to be called. Among those still seated were Zelena West, who would stand only to answer those questions, and Victoria Belfry, newly installed as her party’s head. Zelena chanced a sneaky look at Miss Belfry, trying to find any hint of apprehension in her as she stared down her first PMQs as Opposition Leader. She was slightly miffed that the woman looked totally calm.

 

Of course there was tradition to this event, as with everything, starting with the standing to be called being just for show. There was a list that alternated between both sides of the House, and when the Speaker called the first name on it, the MP would ask the same question that was always asked of the Prime Minister first. “Mister Steven Makepeace!”

 

A young man at an Opposition back bench remained standing as everyone resumed their seats. When he was standing alone he called out, “Number _ One _ , Mister Speaker!” He sat back down.

 

“Prime Minister!” The speaker called.

 

Zelena stood and rested the binder she was carrying on the dispatch box in front of her, then said clearly, “Mister Speaker, today I have a meeting with the French Ambassador as well as meetings with ministerial colleagues in addition to my duties in this house, and I shall have further such meetings later today.”

 

A few perfunctory “hear hears” sounded from the Government benches as Zelena sat down, then half the assembly stood again, and again for show as the Speaker went right back to, “Mister Steven Makepeace!”

 

Steven Makepeace stood again and asked his real question. “Mister Speaker, I’m sure the House will join me in celebrating the birthday of my constituent Mister Avril Corridge, who turned ninety-seven this week.” He paused for a few “hear hears”, then continued: “Mister Corridge is a veteran who served faithfully and ably in the Royal Army during World War Two and took part in many important campaigns, including the Normandy Invasion, where he was seriously wounded. Upon his retirement he applied for and was awarded a War Pension, which has been his main source of income ever since. It has come to my attention that a series of bureaucratic errors of late have interfered with the timely delivery of Mister Corridge’s payments, making it difficult for this man, who did his part to defend this nation, to meet his day-to-day expenses. I would like to ask the Prime Minister if she would look into the particulars of Mister Corridge’s case, and if she would commit the Government to making sure that none of our veterans, no matter how old, fall through the cracks of bureaucracy?”

 

Again the “hear hear” chorus sounded as Steven Makepeace sat and the Speaker called out “Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena stood. “Of course I join the Right Honourable Gentleman in sending best wishes to Mister Corridge for his birthday -” more “hear hears” “- and of course This Government is fully committed to honouring the service and sacrifice of all this nation’s veterans, including doing anything we can to aid them in living out their years comfortably and with dignity. I would appreciate it if the Honourable Gentleman would forward to me the details of Mister Corridge’s case and I will get together with the Defence Secretary and see if there’s anything we can do.”

 

“Hear hears” again, and the Speaker called “Ms. Allison Constantine!”

 

This time a young woman from the Government back benches stood. “Mister Speaker,” she began, “it has come to my attention that at least three energy companies are looking into the possibilty of beginning test fracking operations in my constituency and will be ready to present applications for permission to begin within the next few months. I hope the members of the House would agree with me that the ultimate effects of fracking on the environment have not been fully explored and further studies should be done before allowing the practice in the United Kingdom.” A few “hear hears,” then: “Would the Prime Minister consider re-instating a full ban on fracking in UK territory until such time as methods can be developed that greatly reduce the potential costs to the ecosystem?”

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena stood. “Mister Speaker, indeed I share the concerns of My Right Honourable Friend and I’m glad she’s brought up the subject. In the coming weeks we will introduce a bill to the House that would impose such a ban, but we must be careful in our deliberations as there are economic as well as environmental issues that must be weighed before a final decision is taken.”

 

The Speaker called “Mister Benton Forrest!”

 

This question came from the middle of the Opposition benches. “Mister Speaker, I’m sure the House will join me in celebrating the recent successful completion of Her Majesty’s Ship _ Queen Elizabeth’ _ s first significant deployment.” Some “hear hears,” then, “She and her sister ship, once fully operational, will represent a significant component of the United Kingdom’s armed forces. However, there is a risk that these vessels might need to deploy without the necessary complements of their most powerful weapons, namely the F-35 tactical aircraft, as there are reports that the delivery schedule might slip by a full year. In the interest of our national security, will the Prime Minister hold the contractor strictly to the agreed upon delivery date, so that the  _ Queen Elizabeth  _ and the _ Prince of Wales _ will be fully equipped and ready to guarantee the freedom of the seas?”

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena stood. “I do celebrate the successful deployment of the  _ Queen Elizabeth _ and I am aware of the recent report on the possible delay of the delivery of our full order of F-35 aircraft. We have made our concerns known to the contractor and are currently in talks with them to see if there’s anything we can do to keep the deliveries on track.”

 

This went on for the next ten minutes, questions and answers and cheers, working up to the most important part of the session. Zelena mentally braced herself when the name she had been waiting for was finally called: “Ms. Victoria Belfry!”

 

This was it. The slim, pretty blonde sitting across the table from Zelena stood up, rested her own binder on the box in front of her, then said clearly, “Mister Speaker, I wonder if the Prime MInister would be willing to give us an assessment of our current relationship with the United States?” No “hear hears,” or anything at all. Victoria simply sat back down.

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

_ So, start with a purr instead of a pounce, _ eh? Zelena thought as she stood. “Mister Speaker, I’m happy to say to the Right Honourable Lady that the Special Relationship between the United States and United Kingdom is as strong as it has ever been and will be further strengthened in the coming years.” A few Government “hear hears” as she sat back down.

 

“Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria stood. “Mister Speaker, I would also like the Prime Minister to assure this House that the Special Relationship between the US and UK is one of  _ equals _ , and not one where the UK is subordinate?” Again, there were no “hear hears” as she sat back down.

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena was slightly suspicious of the silence from the Opposition benches, but rose and answered anyway. “Of course the House has my assurance and the assurance of This Government that the Special Relationship between the US and the UK is one of _ sovereign _ nations with similar national and international interests, as it has been for decades, and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future.” More Government “hear hears” as she sat down.

 

“Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria rose, smiled at Zelena, then with a light chuckle she said, “Oh, that’s  _ wonderful _ , Mister Speaker, because for a time I was worried that as we’ve just extricated ourselves from one disastrous international partnership the Prime Minister would lead us into a  _ second _ one just because her sister’s in charge of the other country.” _ Now _ the Opposition erupted in raucous “HEAR HEARS.” Victoria grinned at Zelena as she let it continue for half a minute, then went on. “And speaking of that first disaster, would the Prime Minister care to explain why the Government is dragging its feet on the implementation of Brexit?” More “hear hears.” “We’ve had a plan in place. It had satisfied all parties, and we are getting very close to the exit deadline. Doesn’t she think it’s a bad idea to reopen negotiations at this stage?” This time Victoria sat down to another loud chorus of cheers.

 

The Speaker waited for relative silence before calling, “Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena rose, laid down her binder, then looked Victoria square in the eye as she said, “Mister Speaker, I would be happy to share my thoughts on the subject with the Right Honourable Lady. I was thinking that it was  _ actually  _ a bad idea to implement a plan that not only throws the baby out with the bathwater but chucks the loo as an added bonus.” Roars of “HEAR HEAR” sounded from behind her, and were met with just as loud booing from the Opposition. Zelena smirked at Victoria until the noise died down, then she continued. “The fact is, the only party truly satisfied with the current plan is the EU, because it hardly costs them anything, while it leaves the United Kingdom billions of pounds poorer and beholden to the rest of Europe on economic, environmental and immigration policies, which is what we tried to warn her party about when the plan was originally put forward!” More cheers from the Government benches and more boos from the Opposition, and Zelena smiled wickedly as she finished her remarks. “So, now that we’ve inherited this dog’s breakfast-” More Government “Hear hears” “-This Government is committed to turning it into a workable plan, one that truly leaves the United Kingdom better off for having left the European Union!”

 

Zelena sat down to loud cheers from one side of the House and loud catcalls from the other, and this time both lasted so long the Speaker had to shut it down. “Order!” He called above the shouting. “ _ Or _ -der!” As it quieted down, he said, “Let’s get through this in a timely fashion, shall we? Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria stood. “I find it interesting that the Prime Minister is so concerned about the plan my party originally put forward, Mister Speaker, because as she criticizes it, all I can think to say is, “At least we had one.’” More Opposition cheers and more Government boos, then she continued. “And, while we were working and toiling and negotiating to come up with that plan, her party did nothing but complain and whinge and accuse us of dragging our feet on implementing a break from the EU that they never really wanted anyway!” More “Hear Hears!” “And just as we were ready, with a plan, well in advance of the deadline, instead of showing patience, her party forced a general election!” More “Hear hears!” “So if The Government really has a dog’s breakfast to deal with, I would like to remind the Prime Minister that it’s her own damned fault!” Uproarious “HEAR HEARS” and cheers came from the Opposition benches, while the Government benches tried to boo more loudly, and this time neither side would quiet down enough to let Victoria finish. She didn’t mind. She just sat back down.

 

The Speaker  _ did _ mind. “Or-der!” He called out. “Or-der!  _ Or _ -der! Look, I know the impulse to shout down your adversaries is quite strong, but we  _ will _ have order and everyone  _ will _ be heard! Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria rose. “Now that we understand how we got to where we are, I would like to ask the Prime Minister if the Government has any hope of correcting our alleged mistakes before the exit deadline, and if not, does she have an alternate plan for when the deadline slips and it will be months before we can try to break away again?” Triumphant cheers sounded from the Opposition as she sat down.

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena found herself glaring at Victoria, so she forced herself to soften her features as she stood again. “Well, Mister Speaker, I would submit to the Right Honourable Lady that the first step we’ve made in the right direction is to see to it that her party has nothing to do with formulating  _ either _ plan!” Vigorous cheers from the Government benches this time, met with vigorous boos from the Opposition. Zelena let it die down before continuing. “Beyond that, I’m happy to report that a comprehensive review of the current Brexit plan is already well underway, and I’m quite confident that we will be more than able to find all those mistakes that the Honourable Lady  _ thinks _ we’ve imagined!” More cheers and boos from the opposing sides, then: “Once we’ve done so, we will move swiftly to correct those flaws and present to the EU a separation plan that properly benefits both sides!”

 

The battle of shouts started up again and lasted for a full minute before the Speaker could be heard above the shouting. “Order!  _ Or _ -der!  _ Or _ -der!” When the noise finally died down he pointed toward the Government benches and said, “Mister Pettiford, you are beginning to worry me! The way you’re attempting to outshout your opposite numbers from across the room is bound to result in significant throat damage!” The House members chuckled at this, and the Speaker let it carry on for a moment before continuing. “Now let us show a little decorum, shall we? As I said, everyone will be heard.” It was a rebuke, but the way the Speaker’s mouth curved up slightly indicated his real feelings: he loved a good shouting match in the chamber, because it gave him a chance to play for the news cameras. Still, he managed not to totally give the game away as he turned and called out, “Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria stood. “I’m not surprised the Prime Minister failed to answer my question directly, Mister Speaker,” she began, “because I’m sure in her place I’d find that answer quite embarrassing.” More cheers from behind her and jeers shot at her, and she continued. “And apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so if the media are any indication. For example, there’s the editorial in the _ Times _ that asks why The Government would engage in such a complicated and risky venture this late in the game.” More cheers. “Or the  _ Telegraph _ , whose editorial page quite directly advises The Government to rethink its stance and go forward with the best plan available.” More cheers. “Or the  _ Mail, _ which - Oh! - which compares The Government’s determination to renegotiate to trying to reinvent the wheel while one’s car is  _ barreling _ toward a brick wall!” Now loud “Hear Hears” mixed with roaring laughter from the Opposition. “My, that  _ is  _ quite clever, isn’t it?” Victoria quipped, inspiring more laughs and more jeers from the Government benches. She waited for a quieter moment before continuing. “Mister Speaker, I am worried that The Government is setting itself up for failure, and while I might be inclined to let that happen, this is one case where The Government would take the country with it when it fell-” More Opposition “Hear Hears” “-and in that instance I must ask the Prime Minister again: Can she  _ assure _ this House that The Government will have a Brexit plan in place that meets all its own requirements before the ensuing deadline, so that we’re not left to start all over again if the deadline slips?” A final round of Opposition “Hear Hears” echoed through the chamber as Victoria sat down.

 

“Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena rose, smiled at Victoria and said, “Well, I’m quite glad that the Right Honourable Lady is so attentive to what the Press have to say, because that gives me the opportunity to point out how we began our review. We simply read the special report on the current plan first printed in the  _ Economist _ -” a few “hear hears” “-which went into extraordinary detail and highlighted every  _ single  _ shortcoming, misstep and assumption baked into that dog’s breakfast we inherited.” Now the Government “Hear Hears” were boisterous and the Opposition boos were biting. Zelena waited for relative quiet before continuing. “So to address the Honourable Lady’s previous concerns, we’ll have no problem pinpointing where her party went wrong because journalists have already done the heavy lifting for us.” More cheers from behind her. “And once we’ve made a full accounting, I can assure the House that This Government will put forth a Brexit plan well before the deadline. I can only hope that the Opposition won’t take it upon themselves to obstruct passage of the plan, and thus turn their ‘worry’ about a deadline slip into a self-fulfilling prophecy!” “Hear Hears” roared from the Government benches as Zelena sat down.

 

“Victoria Belfry!”

 

Victoria rose. “Mister Speaker,  _ I _ can assure the House that my party will do nothing to obstruct The Government’s plan. We don’t need to, as I am quite confident that The Government is more than capable of hoisting  _ itself _ on its own petard.” More Opposition “Hear Hears” filled the chamber. “And I am confident because I know how much effort and time went into formulating the current plan, and I know that doing it all over again in the cause of making improvements is a fool’s errand. There isn’t the time and there isn’t the will, and when the deadline comes round there won’t be a new plan!” Another round of “Hear Hears,” then: “Therefore, Mister Speaker, I  _ must _ ask the Prime Minister...isn’t it about time she stopped letting herself be guided by her selfish pride and moved forward with the plan she has instead of pursuing one that only exists in her imagination?”

 

The Opposition benches erupted in a riot of loud cheers, “HEAR HEARS” and general exhortations of support for Victoria Belfry and scorn for Zelena West, which inspired equally loud boos, catcalls and various top-of-the-voice derogatory remarks from the Government benches, and this time the Speaker didn’t hesitate to quiet things down. “Order!!  _ Or _ -der!! Order!!” When everyone got quiet again, he pointed toward a middle Opposition bench and said, “Ms. Hartford! I am truly shocked that a proper and graceful young lady such as yourself is capable of doing a football hooligan proud in shouting down the opposing fans!” Again the assembly laughed at the Speaker’s scolding. When they were done, he said, “Now, everyone, we are almost done here, and we have other matters to attend to, so let us press on! Prime Minister!”

 

Zelena rose, and put a smile on her face before saying, “Well, Mister Speaker, I’m not sure  _ who  _ would be more prideful: those of us trying to correct the flaws in a plan that will affect the entire country or those of us who insist on implementing that plan, with flaws in place, just because they thought it up.”  The “Hear Hears” rose again from behind her, only a little more subdued. Zelena reasoned everyone had simply yelled their throats out, so she mentally shrugged and continued. “I am sure, however, that separating from the EU is the will of the people, and since it is our job to represent that will, it is our responsibility to carry out that will with deliberation, forethought, and focus, and by resisting the urge to do so with half measures just because some of us find it convenient.” Zelena sat down with a last chorus of “Hear Hears” from behind her, and only a few half-hearted boos from the Opposition. She and Victoria took a moment to stare each other down.

 

The staring contest was cut short as the Speaker got back to business. “Mister Roderick Bridger!”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Later, during a break in the day’s session, Zelena retreated to her Westminster office with Fiona Black and Will Scarlet in tow. They made small talk until they were behind closed doors, then Zelena sat at her desk with a huff while Fiona and Will took guest chairs. There was a moment of silence as they all were lost in their thoughts.

 

Then Fiona grinned, and she just had to say it. “‘Chucks the loo?’”

 

This set Will off into helpless giggling, followed by more sedate giggles from Fiona. Zelena smiled, but didn’t feel like laughing. “I had to say  _ something! _ ” She said. “That was a battle of wills in there and little Miss Belfry was waving her Union Jacks in my face!”

 

Hearing that almost made Will laugh harder, but he composed himself and just smiled as he said, “Well, it was definitely memorable, Prime Minister,” he said. “And you’re absolutely right. You needed to start strong and hard, because she came loaded for bear.”

 

“What I found truly insulting was the idea that I would sell us out to the United States just because Regina is president,” Zelena said, “as if I had no self-respect and as little national pride…”

 

“She only said that to wind you up,” Fiona said. “It didn’t work. You handled that beautifully. Keep on handling her that way and nothing she says will have any consequence.”

 

“I suppose,” Zelena said with sigh.

 

“Of course,” Will said, “the best way to shut the Tories up will be to meet the Brexit deadline with a deal that outshines what they cooked up. We can do that.”

 

“You’re that confident?” Fiona asked.

 

“We’ve got half the Foreign Office in contact with the other EU members right now finding out what new deal they’d be willing to vote for,” Will said, “and a veritable army working on redrafting the Brexit bill. We hit the ground running, as we promised. I see no reason to doubt that we’ll meet the challenge.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Others, of course, had a different opinion. Two of them, Victoria Belfry and Arthur King, were gathered in her office, where Arthur was taking the opportunity to shower her with praise. “You were lively, you were forceful...I swear, there were MPs on our benches who I haven’t seen smile in months grinning like schoolchildren! You’ve given us exactly the shot in the arm we’ve needed.”

 

Victoria smiled at the compliment, but was more thoughtful about the PMQ session. Finally, she said softly, “She didn’t react the way I thought she would when I mentioned President Mills…”

 

Arthur shrugged. “Does it matter?”

 

“Does it  _ matter  _ that the American President and the British Prime Minister are blood relatives?” Victoria said. “Why do you think I started with that question?”

 

“Well, I suppose in more than two centuries there were bound to be presidents with family ties to a PM or two…”

 

“But not as close as half-siblings, and not in as public a manner as it is now.”

 

Arthur wasn’t sure what was bothering her, especially when they had more important things to consider. “Well, right now the Government’s biggest vulnerability is they’re re-doing Brexit, and I believe our advantage lies in holding to that message, the way you did in there.”

 

“Yes, of course, but don’t you see that her relationship with Mills might also be a vulnerability?”

 

Arthur couldn’t help smirking a little. “You don’t really think the PM’s conspiring with Mills…”

 

“To turn us into Hawaii, 2-point-0?” Victoria finished for him. “No, of course it doesn’t go that far, but family ties in politics always breed largess, and the higher up the ties go, the more largess is passed around, and in this instance we’re talking about an immediate family link at the top level of two governments. There’s no telling what Zelena West might commit this country to in order to treat her Little Sister’s country favorably.”

 

“Well, yes, but surely the same goes for President Mills in relation to her  _ Big _ Sister…”

 

Victoria shook her head. “It’s bad either way. We can’t afford the former and we can’t count on the latter. I know we have a packed agenda, but I feel we must add the goal of making sure the Prime Minister keeps her dealings with the US strictly business and mutually beneficial.”

 

Arthur thought about it for a moment, then said, “All right. We can bring it up at the next caucus...but I feel our priority should be…”

 

Victoria raised a hand to stop him. “I know. Brexit, brexit, brexit till we drive them off-target.”

 

Arthur nodded, then said, “As for the President and Prime Minister, that could go a whole different way.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He shrugged. “Even the closest siblings argue. A good row might settle the issue of favoritism.”

 

Victoria looked at him as if he were insane. “Yes...especially if the row results in the destruction of  _ both  _ countries. Let’s just try to keep them from giving away each other’s stores, shall we?”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Later, Zelena had just climbed into her car when her cell phone rang. She took it out of her coat pocket and answered as the car pulled away from Westminster. “Hey, you,” she said.

 

“Hey, you,” Regina said. “You busy?”

 

“Just heading home,” Zelena said. “You?”

 

“Still in the Oval. Long day, but I did want to call and tell you I caught Prime Minister’s Questions today.”

 

“Live?”

 

“No. C-SPAN posts it on their website so I caught it at lunch. One of these days you’ll have to tell me how you pop up and down like that without your knees snapping.”

 

Zelena grinned. “ _ Squats _ , dear. Lots and lots of squats. Just the thing for a Prime Minister’s legs. Keeps them limber.”

 

“Good to know. So...Victoria Belfry is one of the evil blondes you told me about?”

 

“One of…? Oh! No, Ella DeVil isn’t evil...well, not technically because her party’s in my coalition, but she can be a pain. Victoria Belfry is the one and only evil blonde I have to deal with.”

 

“Trade you for mine. Sarah Fisher is nowhere near as eloquent off the cuff.”

 

“I’m sure such a trade might disrupt both our constitutions. Probably best if we just deal with them on our own.”

 

“Well, I tried.”

 

“Listen, did it rankle you as much as me when the little tart implied that we were planning to make Britain the fifty-first state?”

 

“Well, it would have if I hadn’t been hearing the same thing every other week.”

 

“Really?”

 

“There have been no end of right-wing pundits warning America that you and I are going to bring back The New World Order.”

 

“So...A  _ New _ New World Order?”

 

Regina chuckled. “Right-wing politicians have been more...well,  _ politic _ about it, but their ‘concerns’ amount to the same thing.”

 

“I can’t believe people with any kind of sense would think we’d do such a thing.”

 

“It’s not about what our critics believe. It’s about what they can make voters believe. The remedy is the same in either case.”

 

Zelena nodded. “Don’t do what they think you’ll do.”

 

“Do something  _ better _ ,” Regina finished. “I’ll let you go. I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing after your ordeal…”

 

Zelena took the cue and went all dramatic. “Oh, it was  _ terrible! _ Terrible, I say! There was annoying blonde  _ everywhere! _ ”

 

Regina chuckled again. “You’ll live. Love you, Big Sis.”

 

Zelena smiled at that. “Love you, Little Sister,” she said. Both women hung up, and Zelena let herself think of the wonderful relationship she had with her sibling. It drove the memory of today’s clash with Victoria Belfry right out of her head.

 

* * *

  
  
  


It was brought sharply back into focus the next morning, in a way Zelena never expected.

 

It was early and she had just sat down at the breakfast table waiting for Alice to serve her, which the girl did with her usual eccentricity. “Here we are, Miss,” she said as she laid everything out, “Cottage cheese, fruit salad, two lightly buttered slices of multigrain toast, black coffee, and your self-aggravation device.” With that last Alice laid Zelena’s tablet to the side of the food.

 

Zelena looked at the tablet, then turned to look at her assistant. “Alice,” she said, “are you trying to tell me something?”

 

“Happens every time, Miss,” Alice said. “I make you a wonderful meal, but you barely finish half of it because you insist on readin’ the news while you eat, and then some article gets you all discombobulated.” Alice pouted. “I find it quite insultin’, actually…”

 

Zelena sighed. “Alice, I always read the news in the morning with breakfast. It’s part of my job.”

 

“And it’s part of  _ my  _ job to see you’re fed properly, and I can’t do that with you settin’ yourself off over some wanker’s nonsense.”

 

Zelena was taken aback. “How long have you felt this way?”

 

“Since I started workin’ for you.”

 

“And you’ve only just decided to tell me today?”

 

“That’s right! I’m puttin’ my foot down.” And Alice raised a foot and did just that. “And I’m puttin’ my foot down because I know you’re determined to see what the press are sayin’ about your debate with that Miss Bats person…”

 

_ Miss Bats? _ Zelena thought, before she remembered the Opposition Leader’s last name and realized it made perfect sense in Alice-speak.

 

“...and then you’ll just go on and read a bunch of tripe,” Alice went on, “and it will kill your appetite, and there’s your lovely breakfast just sittin’ there, alone.” She genuinely looked like she’d shed a tear.

 

Zelena appreciated the performance, but she couldn’t let Alice run her completely. “Look, Alice, I’m a grown girl and I’m quite capable of reading things I don’t like and finishing my breakfast, all right?” She smiled with that statement, hoping to both scold and comfort her assistant at once. Alice raised her hands in surrender and Zelena started up the tablet and did indeed search for day-after PMQs coverage. She noticed that the  _ Sun _ ’s coverage was at the top of the results. It was trending and had gotten a staggering number of views, so Zelena used a fork to spear a piece of melon as she clicked on the link.

 

The melon never made it to her mouth, because it and the fork fell when her hand went limp. The malfunction was followed by Zelena growling “Bloody Hell!” through her teeth.

 

“Problem, Miss?” Alice said innocently.

 

Zelena glared at her, then looked away as she handed the girl the tablet. “Just spare me your I-told-you-sos…”

 

Alice forced herself not to smile as she took a look at what was on the screen. The link had brought up the  _ Sun _ website’s “Page Three” page, which was emblazoned with the following headline:

 

**PAGE THREE PMQS!**

 

Flanking the headline and the brief column that went with it were two full torso shots of Zelena and Victoria at their respective boxes. They were obviously screenshots from the pool footage, but they had been zoomed in. Each woman had worn a button down blouse the day before, and each picture had centered on the top buttons each woman had left open. Accompanying these large pictures were smaller ones from different events which highlighted each woman’s crossed legs.

 

Alice didn’t read the column. She knew it would be a waste. Instead, she laid the tablet down, turned to Zelena, and said completely deadpan, “So...pullovers and trousers for Wednesdays, Miss?”

 

Zelena groaned. “Bastards!” She hissed, then she heard the question. “I don’t know, Alice...I would rather just pound these sexist idiots into the ground. I shouldn’t have to change how I dress just so a bunch of men can keep themselves from ogling me.”

 

Alice thought about it a moment, then shrugged and said, “Well, it’s definitely trendin’...”

 

“Is that supposed to cheer me up? Of course it’s trending! Again: Men. Ogling.”

 

“I’m sayin’, Miss, that with those pageviews it’s likely not just men.”

 

Zelena looked at her strangely. “Sorry...what?”

 

“I’ve got plenty of girlfriends, platonic and non, who don’t mind tossin’ an ogle your way from time to time, and this last election they voted Labour just so you’d become Prime Minister and they could see you in the news every day.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really. So, yes, these bastards set you up to be ogled, but havin’ done so they probably guaranteed you’ll keep the majority in the next election.”

 

Zelena thought about that for a moment, then said, “Why, Alice, how wonderfully cynical and calculating that thought is. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

 

Alice smiled. “Full of surprises, I am, Miss.”

 

“Small point: I’m sure there are members of the Opposition who are just as cynical and calculating. In fact I’m sure it’s the reason I have to deal with ‘Miss Bats’ in the first place, so what’s to stop her from taking ogle votes?”

 

“Maybe herself. You were just wonderin’ about how to deal with this situation. What if she woke up to this and is wonderin’ the same thing?”

 

That really made Zelena think, and just as she was deciding Alice had a job with her for life, she said, “Well, the  _ Sun’ _ s conservative these days, isn’t it? That means their editors are for _ her _ to spank. So, we’ll see how she handles it and act accordingly.”

 

Alice nodded. “Very Good, Miss. Brilliant as ever. Astoundin’ly logical.”

 

“I’m glad you approve, now go and let me eat in peace.”

 

“Right, Miss,” Alice said, and she scooped up the tablet and took it away from the table.

 

“Oy!” Zelena called after her.

 

“You’ll get it back when you’ve cleaned your plates!” Alice called back as she headed to the bedroom.

 

Zelena just stared after her, then shook her head and started eating again, thinking,  _ Maybe Regina had the right idea about  _ **_not_ ** _ having an assistant... _


End file.
